Witch Perfect (Witchless in Seattle Mysteries Book 11) Read online

  “You?” he asked in an astonished, high-pitched gasp. “How presumptuous to assume it’s you, Stephania Louise Cartwright.”

  I pressed my nose to his and let out a happy sigh, inhaling the spicy scent of his cologne as it tingled my nose. “Wanna kiss and make up?”

  “Will you make googly eyes at me?”

  Laughing, I nodded. “Always.”

  He pressed a kiss to my lips before pulling back. “Would you mind terribly if we order a pizza for dinner tonight? I find I’m a bit tired after today. I thought maybe I’d grab a nap before we dine.”

  “A pizza you’re not personally making in the wood-fire oven?” I pressed the back of my hand to his forehead. “Have you gone ’round the bend?”

  He grabbed my hand and kissed my fingertips. “Hah! You should be so lucky. Nay, Dove. I’m simply tired. Harris and Rosemary are of the soul-sucking variety, wouldn’t you agree? I know it appears as though I’m being chummy with them, but that’s part of the game. Internally, I’m fighting every instinct in me not to sucker punch Harris for how truly dreadful he is to Kirkland. His son, for pity’s sake. And it’s all I can do not to shake Rosemary and remind her she’s sold her soul for a hideous house and some gemstones.”

  There were still days when Win needed a moment to himself—when he hated to admit he still felt some of the effects of his leap into Balthazar’s body, and I totally understood.

  “You go nap, old man. I’ll order dinner, and when it arrives, I’ll send Bel over to get you. How’s that?”

  He planted another kiss on my lips. “That sounds fine. See you in a bit, Dove.”

  We got out of the car and went our separate ways—he to the guesthouse, and me up the wide staircase to our house as the rain continued to fall.

  As I stepped inside, I remembered the note Lida gave me, and that I’d forgotten to mention it to Win. I’d tell him about it at dinner.

  Until then, I was going to revel in the notion that a plain old pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni was in my near future, rather than one with goat cheese, anchovies, and roasted garlic—which was Win’s specialty—and that we’d successfully navigated our first bump in the road.

  That was almost better than a pepperoni pizza. It was definitely better than one with goat cheese and anchovies.

  Gak.

  “Was he still asleep?” I asked Belfry who’d flown over to check on Win once more. He’d missed dinner entirely because we’d opted to let him sleep.

  Bel had come to tell me he was out like a light—so I’d trudged over there and made sure he was covered, only to find him sleeping like a baby. There was even a bit of snoring going on.

  Bel buzzed to my shoulder. “Out like a drunken sailor after an all-nighter.”

  He’d already missed dinner, a rare occurrence if there ever was one, but to still be asleep this long—that worried me a little.

  I winced and expressed my fear out loud. “Arkady? You there?”

  “Dah, my crème brûlée. How can I help you tonight?”

  “Do you guys think I should be worried about Win? He’s been asleep for quite some time. It’s not like him to miss dinner or take a nap, but a nap that’s close to five hours long? That’s not like him at all.”

  “He’s fine, Boss. Sometimes a man just gets worn out. I think you’re worrying for nothing.”

  “And he have bourbon with that bad man Harris. Bourbon always make Win sleepy back in spy days. He was always careful to stick to whiskey and gin. I remember this about him from mission in Laos.”

  A slither of fear shot up my spine. “You don’t think Harris put anything in that drink, do you, Arkady?”

  I was probably being ridiculous, but if I could pin the Civil War and global warming on Harris Stupidhead Endicott, I’d do so without a moment’s hesitation.

  “No, no, vanilla pudding. I watch closely since he has been back on his feet. Zero is just tired. We should let him sleep. I promised if he tell me he is under weather, I would tell you, did I not? I watch for signs all the time. I know Zero well. Not to worry.”

  I chewed the tip of my finger. This was a problem. “Well then, I have a dilemma.”

  “And that is?” Bel chirped.

  “I’m supposed to meet Lida. She slipped me a note at the Endicotts’ today, and she looked terrified she’d be caught. I don’t know why. I mean, Harris’s a colossal jerk, but I don’t get the impression he’d hurt her. Anyway, she said she had something urgent to tell me. I’m supposed to meet her at eleven o’clock at Kirkland’s nursery, but I totally forgot to tell Win about it. I don’t think it’s a problem if I go alone. It’s what I’d do if Win were still in the afterlife, right?”

  Belfry nudged my ear with the tip of his wing. “But he’s not in the afterlife anymore. Why don’t you just call her and reschedule?”

  “Because I don’t have her number, Bel. She handed me this note so quickly, and then that Lurch of a butler, or whatever he is, came and nearly hauled my butt to the front door. I didn’t have time to ask her for anything. I guess I could try and call the Endicotts’ number, but what if she doesn’t answer? I don’t want to get her in trouble with them. Harris’s horrible to women. I can’t imagine he’s much nicer to a woman who works for him.”

  “I dunno, Boss. There is a killer on the loose.”

  “I hear your hesitation, but we don’t know for sure if the killer lives here in Eb Falls, Bel. Maybe the killer is long gone by now.”

  Still, he sounded hesitant. “The problem is, we don’t know anything and that means we should take all precautions. Maybe we should wake Win up?”

  I looked at the time on my phone and shook my head. I only had fifteen minutes to get there. “No, Bel. He obviously needs rest, and as it is, he’s an insomniac. I don’t want to disturb him unless it’s absolutely necessary. Here’s what I’m going to do. I’ll text Dana on the drive over there and ask him to park and stay hidden by the nursery, and if he doesn’t show up, I’ll stay locked in my car until he does. I don’t know if Lida will still talk to me if she sees him, but it’s worth a try. And you can come with me, right? Be my lookout?”

  “Yup. I can come with you. For all the good it’ll do ya, me being no bigger than a gnat and all. Besides, maybe Dana and I can have a nice sit-down. A little mono a mono, maybe?”

  “Are you ever going to forgive me for that, buddy?” I asked on a ragged sigh. “First of all, that means hand-to-hand combat, and I think that probably wouldn’t be a fair fight. He’s fajillion times bigger than you. Second, I don’t think Dana wants the truth. He wants to keep hiding under the covers and hoping we’ll go away. So I hope he’ll meet us—even with his reservations about you and me.” Grabbing my keys from the kitchen counter, I got my purse and headed toward the front door.

  Bel buzzed alongside me toward the entryway. “Why don’t you text Detective Kaepernick instead? She’d come. I know she would.”

  She definitely would, but she wasn’t in town.

  I pulled on my coat and shook my head. “She’s in New York at some seminar.” I paused and looked upward. “You stay here, Arkady, and if Win wakes up, let him know where I am, would you?”

  “Dah, malutka, but you do not get out of car unless Officer Stick-Up-His-Butt is there, okay-doke? I don’t like you going out this late in the night when I cannot watch you and be your lookout.”

  As if I hadn’t ever made a late-night run to the store to replenish my Twinkie supply before. “I’ll be fine, Arkady, but I promise I’ll wait for Dana. See you in a bit.”

  Holding open my purse, I asked Belfry, “You in, buddy? You don’t have to go. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

  “I’m always in, Boss. A T-Rex and Mothra couldn’t keep me away.” He dove into the interior of my purse and hunkered down into my packet of tissues.

  I ran down the steps in the pouring rain and hopped into my car, pressed the ignition button, and we were off. At about five minutes to eleven, I sent a speech-to-text to Dana, briefly explainin
g what Lida had asked of me, and requested he meet me at Kirkland’s. I hoped Lida wasn’t early, because I was barely going to make it in time.

  As we passed the Sound on our left, the rough, choppy waters dark, I sighed, watching the windshield wipers swipe at the pounding rain. “I hope she has something for me, Bel. I know it’s only been a day since Wade was killed, but it feels like a hundred years.”

  “And you’re worried the trail will go cold. I get it, Boss. But you and Win make a pretty good team. You’ll figure it out, and that’s because I have faith. Stewin forever!”

  We did make a pretty good team and we were definitely pretty good at communicating.

  I slowed as we rounded a bend in the road just before Kirkland’s, coming to a full stop and making a left into the dirt parking lot, where I saw one other car, a small blue Nissan hatchback that I knew for sure wasn’t Kirkland’s. But I didn’t see Dana, unless he’d stayed hidden as requested.

  Kirkland’s nursery was nestled amongst the backdrop of pine trees. The woods surrounding the store appeared ominous, the trees almost leaning over the roof of the nursery, as though in a protective embrace, keeping it from any harm.

  I looked to my phone to see if Dana’d texted me back, but there was still silence. Not even those little dots appeared, to indicate he was composing a message.

  I peered through the pouring rain, squinting to see past my headlights at the car, maybe twenty feet from mine.

  “Okay, I think she’s here. That must be her car, because it’s not Kirkland’s. Maybe I should beep?”

  But I didn’t have to. From the reflection of my headlights, I saw Lida jump out of her car and wave to me, her eyes wide, her face somber.

  Belfry had hopped out of my purse, and was now climbing up my shoulder as I put my hand on the door latch. “Boss…” he warned. “You promised Arkady you’d wait for Dana. That’s not waiting for Dana.”

  Bel was right, so I snatched my hand back and held up a finger to Lida to signal her to wait.

  As I was looking at my phone to see if Dana had responded, a shot rang out, echoing through the surrounding woods.

  My gaze flew upward in time to see Lida through my windshield, seconds before she toppled to the ground of the muddy parking lot, a dark stain spreading over the left shoulder of her windbreaker.

  Chapter 12

  “Oh no!” I shouted into the car, throwing my phone to the passenger seat. Panic screamed through my veins, turning my blood cold, but I knew I had to keep it together. “Bel, dial 9-1-1 now!”

  Reaching for the handle of the car door, I began to pull it when Bel yelped in my ear, “Stevie! You have no protection from whoever’s out there! Don’t you dare open that door!”

  My heart began to crash against my ribs. “Bel, I can’t just leave her on the ground. I won’t! She’s probably bleeding! Now, call 9-1-1!”

  I ignored his protests and rolled out of the car, staying low by the front tire. The moment I began to crawl toward Lida’s body, where she lay motionless and crumpled on the ground with blood pouring from her chest, was the moment more shots rang out, pinging into the mud and spattering it all over me, along with some small pebbles.

  What the heck was going on?

  “Stevie!” Bel yelled. “Get back here now! You’re going to get yourself killed!”

  Leave it to Bel to figure out how to open the power windows even without opposable thumbs. But there was no way I was leaving Lida out here in the rain, possibly bleeding half to death.

  My heart pounding in my chest, my vision impaired by the slap of rain on my face, I still managed to hug the back bumper of the car and edge my way around to the passenger side and up toward the front. If I could just bridge the gap across the twenty or so feet between our two cars, I could use her door as a shield, grab her, and haul her inside.

  And that was my intent as everything went quiet but for the pounding of the rain. Wind lashed at my face as I cursed myself for not turning off my headlights, but if I yelled to Bel to do it for me, it might alert whoever was taking potshots at me to my position.

  Now, more than ever, I wished I had my lookout from above.

  Clinging to my front tire, I decided it was now or never.

  Holding my breath, I lobbed myself out into the open space and did a tuck and roll, kicking up mud and gravel on my way, sending out a prayer to the universe I’d aimed at least half right.

  I popped my eyes open when I stopped, wiping them free of the rain, and that’s when the shots began firing again, making me clench my teeth as I slipped trying to get to my haunches and scraped my cheek on the hard ground.

  But I was so close to Lida, who hadn’t moved an inch since she fell, ratcheting up my panic another notch. I had to get to her, so I could at least have an idea of whether she was alive or not.

  So I made one last roll toward the car, fighting a yelp of pain by biting the inside of my cheek when the hard gravel pressed into my hands and spine. I made it to her front bumper just as a bullet whizzed past my ear, encouraging me to scramble to my haunches.

  Grabbing the driver’s-side handle, I yanked the door open and leaned against the inside of it, a blast of heat hitting my face as I tried to catch my breath. The raspy inhale I took wheezed from my throat, my chest tight and restricted.

  “Stevie! Stevie, get in the car and stay down!” I heard someone yell, but there was no way I was leaving Lida behind.

  “Stevie! Get out of there!”

  It was Dana. That was Dana!

  Thank goodness Dana was here.

  Semi-relieved someone in this equation had a gun, I snaked a hand out to grab Lida’s arm as the ping of bullets picked up, hitting the car door at rapid fire, but I refused to let that stop me.

  With a grunt, I tugged on her soaking-wet arm, wrapping my other hand around her wrist and dragging her toward me, but I lost my balance and fell forward, almost directly on top of her head.

  I crashed hard to my knees, so hard my teeth clacked together as water poured down my face and my icy fingers became stiff. Mud sprayed upward and hit my skin and clothes, stinging my eyes and nose and momentarily blinding me.

  “Stevie! Get in the stinkin’ car!” Dana yelled to me over the pouring rain, but I couldn’t waste time looking for him, I had to get Lida in the car, too.

  Leaning my back against the open door frame, I used it to brace myself and latched onto her arm once more, this time successfully wrapping it around my shoulders, and then I began to push my way into the driver’s seat.

  Using the strength of my thighs and calves, I grit my teeth and drove upward into the car until I’d hoisted her upper torso inside.

  Untangling myself from her, I focused on the task at hand—getting her legs and feet into the car, with me right behind her, and locking the doors.

  But almost as soon as I slid back out to grab ahold of her legs and feet and shove her into her car, another shot was fired, and it sounded closer, forcing me to throw myself on top of Lida for fear I’d end up hit, and then we’d both be in big trouble.

  “Hang on, Stevie! Help’s almost here!”

  The sound of sirens pealing through the night air allowed me a moment to breathe out a ragged breath, giving me the chance to cup Lida’s jaw, her skin clammy and cold. “Lida! Lida, can you hear me?” Feeling her wrist for a pulse, I was overjoyed to find it, even as thready and weak as it was. “I need you to hold on, Lida. Just hold on. Please. Help’s on the way!”

  And then strong hands were on my shoulders, pulling me from the car. “Stevie, let go. The ambulance will be here any second and backup’s arrived. They’ll need to get in here,” Dana soothed. “C’mon. Come with me and we’ll get you warmed up.”

  I shivered, chilled to the bone, leading me to realize Lida would be cold, too. “She needs a blanket. It’s too cold.”

  The EMTs arrived then, pushing me entirely out of the way as Dana led me to my car with his arm around me. He popped open the door and set me on the edge of the seat.


  Grabbing my hand, he looked down at me and asked, “Are you okay?”

  I gazed up at him in his police-issued rain slicker and nodded. “I’m fine. Just soaked and muddy. Did you happen to see who the heck was shooting at me?”

  His mouth went thin, his eyes hard as he sat on his haunches in front of me. “I have no idea. I was too worried about you getting yourself shot to chase after the suspect. But I called in for backup, and they’re scouring the woods now. Sandwich is with them.”

  “Sandwich is here?” Bel chirped as he climbed up my back and to my shoulder, where he settled in. “Hey, Dana! Just FYI, I like Sandwich. He doesn’t know I know him, because I’m always hidden when we see him, but he’s nice, and very, very open-minded. Think he’d believe I’m real, Officer?”

  Tweaking Bel’s wing, I clucked my tongue. “Stop goading Dana, Bel. If he wants to pretend the talking bat doesn’t exist, let him pretend the talking bat doesn’t exist. Now, I suppose you want answers about why I was here, and why I was meeting Lida?”

  “At this hour, no less,” he said, completely ignoring Bel.

  I sucked in my cheeks. “I did text you, Officer Nelson. I didn’t plan to do this alone, but Win—you know, my reincarnated boyfriend?—was tired after a long day and needed a nap. He’s still getting back on his feet after possessing his brother’s body. It can really take a toll, all that body-hopping from the afterlife. Anyway, you don’t want to hear that because you want to pretend the supernatural doesn’t exist. And I’m fine with that for the moment. I’m too tired and too disappointed in your reaction after I spilled my guts to bother. So, get out your pen and that notepad you carry around like it’s your Bible, and be ready to take some notes about why I’m here,” I encouraged, goading him in exactly the way I’d admonished Bel for doing.

  “Stevie, I—” he began, his tone almost apologetic, but I stopped him with a flap of my hand and a shake of my head, wiping the droplets of mud dripping from my forehead.

  “Please don’t. I’m not up for it right now. For the moment, let’s just get all the details about why I was meeting Lida here, and then I’d like to go to the hospital to see how serious her wound is. I don’t even know if she has family. So I’ll wait with her until I know. Also, a warning—I’m not up for your nonsense about how I shouldn’t involve myself in police business. Kirkland asked for my help and I gave it, and you can suck it if you don’t like it. I did try to help responsibly by calling you.” I glared at him for a moment, daring him to give me a lecture, but he remained silent. “Now get on with your questions,” I ordered.