Marty's Horrible, Terrible, Very Bad Day Page 6

  Nina lifted her middle finger at Wanda. “I’m just saying, her paranormal game is weak. I have fangs and you shed like a dog. She has a stupid fucking coat you could buy at the Dollar Store.”

  Hudson held up a broad hand, his gaze going from Nina’s to Wanda’s faces. “Let’s hear her out, ladies, yes? This could explain what’s happening with Marty and why she’s in this deep state of sleep. Maybe her condition really has nothing to do with a medical issue at all. So give her a chance.”

  Aha. Rocky hadn’t thought of that. Maybe Marty’s soul was suspended, or something sci-fi-ish she didn’t understand.

  Fiddling with the edges of her robe, she muttered, “I don’t know whether what Dr. Khalil—”

  “Hudson,” he cheerfully corrected her again. “It’s just Hudson.”

  “Okay, then I don’t know if what Hudson says is true, because I’ve never, in all my time as a reaper, come across anything like this. We don’t escort immortals over the threshold. It’s just not done. I don’t know who does, because I imagine they’re few and far between, but my gig is human souls, and that’s why Marty’s set off some red flags for me.”

  “And you think the way to keep her soul from harm is to watch over her?” Hudson asked, his warm voice filled with concern.

  Bobbing her head, Rocky grimaced. “I do. I know it was presumptuous of me to show up here like I did, with my dog and my bag packed, but I’m—pardon the pun—deadly serious about guarding Marty’s soul. I did the best I could at the hospital while I pretended to be part of the housekeeping staff, but when you all decided to move her, I knew I had to act.”

  “So your plan is to keep other reapers at bay if they decide to take it into their own hands and reap Marty’s soul?” Wanda asked, her brow furrowing.

  “I know it sounds crazy, but the universe is going to want a soul—and it’ll want it soon. I can’t let that happen until I know for sure there’s been no mistake.”

  Nina leaned across the table and glared at her, flashing her pointy vampire teeth. “But there has been a mistake. A big fucking mistake. Nobody’s taking anything on my watch, and they’re definitely not taking Marty.”

  Rocky sighed. If only that were the way it worked. If only brute strength and enough rage for ten men was the way to keep a soul from collection.

  “What if another reaper shows up to collect her soul?” Hudson asked, his eyes searching hers. “Do you duke it out or something to prevent it?”

  Okay, she hadn’t thought that far in advance. So she shrugged and shook her head to show her confusion. “If that’s what it comes to, I guess I will. I’ll do whatever I have to in order to prevent Marty from being collected. I don’t care what the cosmos tells me, this reap is wrong. Something’s gone wrong. I just don’t know how to figure out what exactly the ‘wrong’ in the equation means.”

  Nina cocked her head, her gaze locking with Rocky’s, her eyes full of menace. “Props to you for having the balls to stick to your convictions—or are they delusions? I mean, how the fuck are we supposed to know if you’re telling us the truth or you’re just some bananapants nut, stalking us? Because we’ve had a coupla those in our time, and I’m here to tell you, that didn’t work out so well for the stalker. How can you prove you’re who the fuck you say you are?”

  Her scythe. She didn’t have magical powers per se, other than the ability to walk the path of the In Between, and she couldn’t take them there—she wouldn’t be allowed entry by the gatekeeper simply because she wanted to show them it existed.

  She also didn’t have outrageous strength like Nina, and she couldn’t shift the way Wanda and Marty could…but she did have her scythe, which was a mighty powerful weapon, and probably the only form of proof she had.

  Twisting her body around, Rocky looked toward the area of the front door. She’d lost track of her scythe, a big no-no in the reaping world, not to mention, dangerous. “Do you know where my scythe got to? I can show you, if that’s okay?”

  “Do you mean this?” Heath asked as he entered the room, holding her scythe in his strong hands, the gleaming gold and silver of the handle virtually glowing in the weak sunlight pouring in from the cache of windows over the kitchen table.

  Rocky nodded, rising with slow, measured movements—so no one would attack—to let Heath hand her the scythe.

  “Do you all mind coming out into the backyard? I don’t want to make a mess in your beautiful kitchen,” Rocky asked, not even bothering to wait for an answer as she made her way to the back door, turning to look at them before taking a step outside to the gorgeous patio, where tons of toys and even a plastic castle sat on decorative pavers.

  As they all gathered on the patio, facing the line of trees at the edge of the property, she caught sight of Hudson, standing protectively on one side of Wanda as though to shield her, while Heath flanked her other side.

  Rocky’s heart skipped a beat. She still didn’t understand exactly why the heck he was here at Marty and Keegan’s, but she didn’t hate that he’d defended her or that he was so handsome when he’d done so.

  Nina gave her shoulder a hard shove and frowned, her lips a thin line. “Okay, Reaper, and…? What’s fucking next?”

  Lifting her scythe over her head, Rocky gave them a warning. “You all might want to back away and give me some room. Oh, and cover your ears. For your own protection, of course. Especially you, Nina. Vampire hearing and all.”

  With that, she turned her back on their skeptical eyes and faced the row of barren trees, spreading her legs and widening her stance to brace herself for impact.

  She gripped the handle of the heavy steel weapon tight and, using her wrists, pointed it at one fairly isolated but rather oversized maple tree, winding up with a swing.

  The buzzing sound the swing of her scythe made, often compared to thousands upon thousands of angry bees, grew with each arc in the air, making Nina cry out.

  “Fuck! Knock it off!” she screeched, clamping her hands over her ears, wincing in obvious pain.

  With a flick of her wrist, Rocky let ’er rip, shooting an arrow of blistering-white light at the tree, effectively slicing the maple in half.

  The eerie silence just before it fell was almost poetic, as the thick base of the tree and its trembling limbs hovered in the air seconds before crashing to the ground with a heave and a groan.

  The crash and the ensuing rubble of debris and dead limbs it left behind made everyone stand stock still, all of them unblinking.

  “Well…ain’t that some shit?” Nina finally said, her voice hoarse. “Okay, so you have a magic sword—”

  “Scythe. I have a magic scythe,” Rocky corrected, feeling a little less powerless and fragile. She never used it much, not as a weapon anyway. That wasn’t what it was used for. The scythe was actually an agricultural representation of reaping crops that had somehow translated to cutting people down, but she’d had it since forever, and in a pinch, it could create quite a ruckus. She never did a reap without it. “And it’s all the proof I have that I’m a reaper, and I’m here because I want to protect Marty’s soul.”

  Heath whistled as Hudson openly gaped at the pile of tree debris.

  “Well then,” Wanda said with a pale face and a quick pat to Rocky’s back before brushing her hands down over her skirt in a nervous gesture. “Let’s get you settled in a room, yes?”

  “Scythe-schmythe,” Nina sneered as she brushed past her on her way back inside, knocking Rocky’s shoulder as she went. “You do that shit again and I’ll break that fucker in half and shove it down your pie hole, Reaper.”

  Rocky stood for a moment as everyone dispersed and inhaled the frigid air, fighting the shake of her legs and the chatter of her teeth.

  Then she smiled in fangirl appreciation at Nina’s notorious grumpiness.

  Wasn’t it awesomely gratifying to find your idols were everything you hoped they’d be and more?

  Chapter 5

  “So what the ever-lovin’ fuck now?” Nina asked he
r as they sat together on the thickly carpeted floor of a small sitting room just outside Marty’s room, where Hudson checked her vitals and tweaked her IV line, while Wanda slept and Nina took the night shift.

  Yeah. What now, Rocky?

  You’ve made your big entrance, showed them what you’ve got. Next, please.

  The trouble was, she didn’t know what now any more than anyone else. She was flying by the seat of her pants. Still, honesty was always the best policy.

  “I honestly don’t know, Nina. I don’t know where to turn from here. I checked with all the appropriate people about the validity of Marty’s reap, and everyone’s told me the same thing. I guess I have to find out who or what determines the list of souls due for collection, and I’m being straight with you when I tell you, I truly don’t know who or what that is. So we wait.”

  She had a funny feeling that wasn’t what Nina wanted to hear, because she was all about kill first, ask questions later, but it was all they had. The best she had to offer was preventing the reap.

  “Wait,” Nina grunted. “I’m shit at waiting for something to happen. If you point me in the right direction, I’ll kill the fucker and we won’t have to wait anymore.”

  Rocky nudged the vampire’s knee. “I can’t point you to someone when I don’t know who that someone is, Nina.”

  “Stop making goddamned sense. It pisses me off.”

  “What doesn’t piss you off?” she asked with a teasing smile.

  Nina glared at her, running her tongue over her lips. “Salty reaper is salty.”

  Rocky grinned. “I’m just keeping it real, and the reality is, I don’t know what to expect or what to do.”

  Nina rubbed Dwayne Johnson’s filled-to-the-brim-with-table-scraps-from-the-delicious-dinner-Arch-had-cooked belly, and grimaced. “You don’t know who creates this fucking list? How can you not know that? I mean, where the hell does this list come from to begin with?”

  Rocky sighed, scooting Muffin, Marty’s tiny poodle, over a bit and crossing her legs, her temples showing the early signs of a headache. “It just appears and I download it and it leaves no digital footprint. It’s cosmically generated, and I’ve never once questioned it. I know that sounds crazy, but liken it to brushing your teeth or taking a shower. You just do those things because that’s all you’ve ever known. The list just is.”

  “Listen, I can’t cast stones at glass houses. There are so many fucking things that just are in this crazy-ass world, I believe you when you say you don’t know why the fuck it exists.”

  “Though,” Rocky said, holding up a finger. “There has to be someone who monitors it, right? I mean, I do have superiors. So, I figure that someone will probably show up sooner or later when I don’t deliver Marty’s soul…”

  She hoped. Sort of. It meant a shitstorm of trouble for her, but she could live with trouble if it meant she was doing the right thing.

  “So why don’t you give these fucks a ring-a-ling and let me talk to them about what’s going on?”

  “Because I’m hiding in plain sight. No one’s asked where Marty’s soul is yet. If I can find out who’s responsible for putting her name on the list before I rock the boat, I’m opting for smooth sailing.”

  Why no one had shown up so far remained a mystery, and she wouldn’t question it, but she couldn’t expect her luck to hold forever.

  “Understood. A good plan.” Then Nina’s eyes went hard. “So should I prep to rip someone limb from limb? Like, how the fuck are we supposed to keep this shit from happening? I feel like I’m chasing shadows here. How do you keep a soul in someone’s GD body, for shit’s sake?”

  Rocky sighed and stared off at the mirror atop a long, glossy black cosmetic’s vanity beyond Nina’s shoulder, where there was a ton of Pack and Bobbie-Sue cosmetics, neatly stacked in a bright array of glamorous packaging.

  “I can’t answer that, Nina. Like I keep saying, I’ve never had this happen before. I don’t know what to expect because I’ve never not delivered a soul.”

  But it made her stomach hurt to think about it. Not as much as it hurt to think Marty was being reaped unfairly, but it hurt nonetheless.

  The best she could figure was a higher up would come calling, and she’d be in hella trouble up to her eyeballs. Reapers had a prison just like the rest of the world did, but if she ended up peeing in front of an audience for eternity, at least she wouldn’t have been the person to take such a valuable soul.

  Nina grunted, her jaw hard and tight. “So lemme get this straight. Basically, you should have fucking collected her soul at the bar, right? She was technically dead then?”

  Watching Nina avert her eyes, hearing the words come from her mouth and knowing they hurt, made Rocky wince. But she wanted to keep everything above board.

  She let her chin fall to her chest. Guilty. But she wouldn’t apologize for hesitating. Her heart told her she’d done the right thing.

  “Yes. According to the rules of the reap, I should have collected her soul in that moment.”

  Nina leaned forward, her long, silky hair partially covering her face, and thumped Rocky’s leg. “But you didn’t,” she said, her voice almost on the verge of shaky. “Color me fucking grateful, kiddo.”

  Rocky remained silent, uncomfortable with praise from someone she admired so deeply. Instead, she looked down at her sneakers and fiddled with the laces, noting how frayed they’d become.

  “Why didn’t you collect her soul?” Nina prodded. “Why are you sticking your neck out for the lot of us?”

  “Because she’s an immortal,” Rocky mumbled. “And because I know in my gut it’s wrong. You three are legends where I come from—you’re legends in the paranormal world. You not only help people who’ve been accidentally turned, but you’ve prevented more than your fair share of catastrophes. I’m not going to take an immortal soul and live with the guilt of that until I know it’s the right thing to do, especially when all Marty’s ever done is help people. Her gift—her pass, if you will, for all that selflessness she’s displayed—as far as I’m concerned, is immortality.”

  She wanted to crawl under a rock when she was done. She’d known she’d come off all gushy fangirl, but there was no other way to explain how unjust this mess was.

  Nina dragged a hand through her hair before cracking her knuckles. “She’s one badass bitch. I tease her all the damn time, but she’s braver and smarter than I’ll ever be.”

  As if she hadn’t heard all the stories… “Still another reason her immortality should count for something.”

  Scratching at Dwayne Johnson’s ears, Nina dropped one of Rocky’s worst fears into the conversation. “You’ve probably already thought about this, but I’m gonna say it any fucking way. Her being on this list… This could also mean someone wants our girl dead. It’s not like we haven’t fucked up someone’s day a time or two.”

  Rocky shivered. All through the amazing dinner of roast leg of lamb with a divine mint/garlic sauce and fingerling potatoes so tender they’d make your mother weep, as she’d let the candied baby carrots melt in her mouth, she’d wondered the same thing.

  She ran her fingers along Muffin’s spine, and as the dog sighed in contentment, shook her head.

  “That’s one of the conclusions I’ve toyed with. Someone wants Marty out of the picture and they put her name on that list. Which leaves us with the fact you guys have some powerful, scary enemies.”

  Nina barked a soft laugh, the sound dripping scorn. “You don’t do what we do without making fucking enemies, but I can’t think of any with a specific grudge against Marty. If anything, they’d want me dead. I am the loudest-mouth bitch in our little trio from hell.”

  All night long, Nina had lived up to her legendary reputation, but the trait Rocky admired the most was her honesty. She knew her faults and she freely admitted they existed, but that she didn’t care only made her more real to Rocky.

  Running the heel of her hand over her eyes, she fought a yawn. She’d been running on e
mpty for two days now while they’d prepared to bring Marty home, fretting over what to do and how to approach them, and it was beginning to show.

  “I don’t know who it could be if it’s not someone who has beef with you guys, but I need you all to think hard on it. Think about all the cases you’ve been on, the people you’ve helped, longtime grudges, whatever. I’ll need some hardcore proof to present to my superiors to prevent them from intervening and taking her soul anyway.”

  Nina’s face turned hard as she clenched a fist and straightened her spine. “Just let a motherfucker come. I’ll make sure he doesn’t walk for a flippin’ month.”

  Rocky couldn’t help but giggle, but she had to make Nina understand, brute force wouldn’t cut it. “You can’t stop a reap, Nina. No one but another reaper can. We control souls almost like puppet masters. The saying about when your time is up is really true. It really is up.”

  Hudson poked his handsome head outside Marty’s sprawling bedroom and smiled his ruggedly handsome smile. “Everything looks good if you want to sit and visit for a bit, Nina.”

  Nina rose on long legs after giving Dwayne Johnson one last scratch and dropping a kiss on the top of his head. “Don’t go anywhere, Reaper. I’m not done by a longshot. I have more questions, but I’ll be back after I croon my favorite Barry Manilow tune to my girl in there. She hates when I sing to her. Maybe that’ll wake her ass up.” Then she cackled, her long hair spilling over her shoulders.

  Rocky patted her backpack with her clothes, having opted to sleep on the floor outside Marty’s room rather than have a room to herself. At this point, she wasn’t willing to leave her in anyone else’s hands but her own.

  “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here on the couch, sleeping with one eye open and my trusty scythe.”

  Rocky spread a hand out to encompass the sitting room with its lush couch in oyster white, a TV longer than a railway car, and cozy knit throws in turquoise and pops of royal blue.