How Nina Got Her Fang Back: Accidental Quickie (Accidentally Paranormal Series Book 13) Read online

  Table of Contents

  Excerpt

  How Nina Got Her Fang Back

  Blurb

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Epilogue

  Preview another book by Dakota Cassidy

  Note from Dakota Cassidy

  eBooks by Dakota Cassidy

  Dakota recommends… Melanie James

  Excerpt

  January shook her finger at Nina. She was toying with her. Playing dumb because she didn’t want to acknowledge anything beyond the next grilled cheese sandwich she ate. It was all part and parcel of coming to terms with this new journey she was on, and Nina was ignoring it, shoving it away, stalling.

  And January knew she had to get to the heart of the matter before time ran out. If nothing came of this, if she ended up blowing this whole thing with Galen and Artem, she wasn’t going to do that before she helped Nina. She absolutely had to properly grieve the loss of her vampirism in order to accept and come to complete terms with her humanity.

  “Don’t play dumb with me, Nina. I asked a question. Do you have a plan in place for the time when your life will cease, but everyone around you will carry on?”

  Nina narrowed her eyes at January, straightening the ties on her hoodie, the knuckles of her fingers white, but still she didn’t bite. “I got plans for dinner. That’s about as much fucking planning as I’ve done today.”

  “Then here’s what I want you to do before our next appointment tomorrow. Think of one, Nina. Think of a plan. Tell me how you’ll talk to Charlie and Carl and explain that you’re different. What you hope to do with your time when your friends are still youthful and fit and you’re part of a knitting club at a retirement home.”

  Nina’s eyebrow rose, but then she eyeballed January and grinned—wide. “Fuck knitting. It’s Ping-Pong or bust.”

  But January chose to ignore Nina’s blatant refusal to acknowledge her words. “Just a loose outline will do for now, but give it some thought tonight and I’ll see you tomorrow, same time.”

  “We done here? Am I excused, Dr. Malone?”

  January didn’t miss the sarcasm in Nina’s tone, but she gave her a sunny smile and pushed away from her desk. “Free bird, baby.”

  There was a sudden commotion, making both Nina and January look up and toward her office door. Voices were raised, heated and animated.

  Nina was the first to rise from her chair. She pushed off, using her hands on the arms as leverage and strode toward the door. “Fuck all. If Marty’s out there grousing about validating her parking, I’ll fix her ass. Don’t you worry, Doc. I won’t let her screw with you. We’re fucking rich, for Christ’s sake. I don’t know why she has to make such a big stinkin’ deal about shit.”

  But as she threw the door open, it wasn’t Marty making a scene at all.

  No, in fact, it was Galen, just outside the thin glass that separated her reception area from the hallway and elevators.

  Marty and Wanda both looked to January, their eyes rimmed with concern, their bodies frozen to the spot.

  January cocked them a glance in question as she watched Galen’s strong hands fly about in the air, clearly agitated. “What’s going on?”

  Elsa, her receptionist, short and elderly and also a fellow witch, smoothed the ruffles on the front of her polka-dot blouse. “That hunky doctor next door is arguing with someone.” She shivered, her round cheeks vibrating. “He’s so manly when he’s all worked up, eh, ladies?”

  Nina—being Nina—strode to the door and flung it open, pushing her way out and cornering Galen and the other man. A man January couldn’t quite see over Nina’s tall frame.

  “Hey! What the fuck is wrong with you two? There are goddamn people in here with mental-health related issues. Like me. And I’m telling you, I’m fragile, bitches. Fragile with a capital edgy. You do not—I repeat—do not want to set me off. I’m like a GD volcano just waitin’ to blow. So shut the fuck up and take it the hell outside!”

  Galen was the first to respond, his handsome, pale face and strong body tight with tension. “My apologies, Dr. Malone. We didn’t mean to disturb you with your patient,” he offered in a curt tone before his beautiful eyes the color of green marbles moved from January’s face and focused on the far wall to avoid even merely glimpsing at her.

  “Indeed. Our apologies, Doctor,” the man Nina blocked from view reiterated.

  “Who the fuck are you, in here harassing doctors? Jesus, can’t anyone get some friggin’ respect these days? Bet you eat corn chips in the library, too. What’s wrong with you?” Nina demanded of the man, leaning down to peer into his face.

  But January grabbed her arm from behind, fighting a cringe. She knew that voice. She knew it well. “It’s okay, Nina. Come on, let’s go make an appointment with Elsa for tomorrow and let these two hash out whatever the problem is on their own.”

  But the man raised his slender hand, reaching up to plant it on Galen’s shoulder, giving him a hard pat. Then he smiled, working hard to ooze charm from every slimy pore on his scrawny body. “It’s fine, Dr. Malone. We were just grousing about baseball, if you can believe it, weren’t we, Galen? We got a little heated, as men are wont to do when they challenge one another in the sports arena. Nothing to worry about. Right, Galen?”

  “Right,” Galen responded, the tic in his jaw pulsing like mad—meaning everything was not all right.

  Stepping between the women, he glanced up at Nina and smiled pleasantly, his long, thin face pale, as opposed to his lips, which were a deep ruby red. “Again, so sorry, Miss…?” He looked up at her hopefully, his deep-set dark eyes searching hers while knowing full well who she was.

  “Nina Blackman-Statleon. Besides loud and rude as fuck, who are you?”

  January gulped and inhaled with as little sound as possible.

  He beamed at Nina, slicking back his glossy, raven-colored hair before he extended his hand to her. “I’m Artem Casteel. Undoubtedly, the pleasure is all mine. All mine.”

  How Nina Got Her Fang Back

  Accidentally Paranormal, Book 13

  An Accidental Quickie

  Dakota Cassidy

  Published 2016 by Book Boutiques.

  ISBN: 978-1-944003-62-3

  Copyright © 2016, Dakota Cassidy.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of Book Boutiques.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, locales, or events is wholly coincidental. The names, characters, dialogue, and events in this book are from the author’s imagination and should not to be construed as real.

  Manufactured in the USA.

  Email [email protected] with questions, or inquiries about Book Boutiques.

  Blurb

  It’s been a while since Nina Statleon—ex-coffin lover, current chicken wing lover—lost her vampire mojo during a particularly brutal OOPS case. Her friends Wanda and Marty are worried. Nina clearly hasn’t dealt with the emotional fallout caused by losing one’s
immortality. She’s got issues. Big issues. And it’s time to call in the Big Gun—Paranormal Psychologist January Malone. Her friends will get Nina to the therapist’s office, even if they have to lure her with the last bag of Cheetos in Manhattan.

  Of course, the girls couldn’t possibly know that Doctor Malone has an agenda. A forced agenda involving blackmail, which may just save one life…while ending another. It goes against everything January, a white witch, has ever believed in, personally and professionally.

  But the alternative means putting her trust in a foul-mouthed ex-vampire, her werewolf and halfsie friends, a demon, a zombie, a bear and their assorted mates…

  Yikes!

  Note from Dakota

  Darling readers,

  Please be advised, this is an Accidental Quickie, wherein our cranky ex-vampire, Nina, does some serious soul searching after tragically losing her vampiric powers. Yet, somehow still manages to find plenty of Ring-Dings and chicken wings along her cranky way. This particular installment is also a bit shorter in length. This won’t be one of our typical Accidental adventures, in the sense that a new hero and heroine are introduced with an accidental turning, because it’s Nina who needs saving this time. Though, we do have a couple that needs Nina just as much as Nina needs them.

  I know many of you have been missing our resident coffin dweller’s vampiric shenanigans, and I’m happy to provide you with her tale!

  But I promise, we’ll return to our regularly scheduled OOPS adventures come Halloween, with an all new wacky journey (with no title yet because I just can’t decide. Y’all got any titles?)!

  Until then, I hope you enjoy rediscovering Nina and what makes her tick, and of course the entire gang, plus a brand new addition to the Accidental family!

  Also, please note: This novella is loosely connected to Accidentally Ever After and Bearly Accidental. If you haven’t read those installments in the series, this book might contain spoilers (small ones, mind you. But for the hardcore series readers, still spoilers).

  Dakota Cassidy XXOO

  Acknowledgements

  Illustration: Katie Wood

  Cover: Valerie Tibbs

  Editor: Kelli Collins

  Chapter 1

  “Look, Fakey-Locks, I said I’d go and I’m going, okay? Now get the flip off me before I pluck your stupid bullshit extension eyelashes out one at a time!”

  There was a grunt followed by a long, ragged sigh. “Sitting here in the reception area, scrolling your tweets, is not going, Ex-Elvira. You promised us you’d work this out with a professional, and work you will. No more lollygagging,” another woman groused.

  “You bet she promised,” said still another female voice, though a less-agitated, more motherly one. “You’re stalling, and it took us almost three months to get you an appointment with this woman, Ray of Sunshine. She’s highly revered in our community and you will not, I repeat, will not miss the chance to let her root around in your deranged little mind and fix this Superman complex you’ve developed since you were turned back. Not if I have to haul you over my shoulder and dump your continuously growing backside on her couch. Now, get up, Statleon. Get up or prepare for the ugly consequences.”

  “Like?” the threatened woman asked in a husky tone.

  “Like I steal your chicken wings and ranch and run them over with my car.”

  There was a rustle of what sounded like a bag before the woman with the husky voice gasped, “You wouldn’t, Wanda. The fucking horror.”

  Dr. January Malone, paranormal psychologist, sat inside her office in soothing colors of pale blue and sage, with inspirational messages depicted in framed art on the walls, fake potted plants and soft leather chairs, listening to the argument outside her door with mild amusement.

  She’d been warned about Nina Blackman-Statleon, once a human, accidentally turned into a vampire, now a human again.

  Her circumstances were extraordinary—an exciting case study of the mind and body. Her vocabulary? Not as much. But she’d been briefed on Nina, her foul language, her gangster mentality, her bizarre hatred for the color yellow, and her alleged heart of pure gold.

  Really briefed. In fact, she’d been so briefed, January felt like she’d almost been debriefed, the session with her coven council and vampire clan officials had been so intensely laden with information.

  The clan didn’t love this onetime human turned vampire. They didn’t love her brash mouth, her twenty-first century ways, her tendency to throw herself into almost any situation without an ounce of fear.

  She made too much noise, brought too much attention to herself and the group of women she aided in helping other paranormals. Correction: Helping accidental paranormals, was how the report had titled their work.

  Nina and these women ran a crisis hotline called OOPS—without official approval from anyone in their packs or clans—and they ran it quite successfully, from what January had seen in the thick reams of paper with detailed reports on Nina’s every move since she’d been turned into a vampire in a freak accident back in 2008. People literally called a 1-800 number from a website and asked these women to help them after fluke paranormal incidents occurred.

  And these women, along with Nina, did help. They dropped everything, put their families and lives on hold, and helped—whenever, wherever. In fact, in some of the cases they’d taken on—if the written details of these incidents were really true accounts—they’d put themselves in grave danger to do so.

  Yet, January had noted something about this Nina in all the material and charts and testimonials she’d scoured. Something one couldn’t deny. Sure, she was loud and even verbally abusive—if “I’ll pull your intestines out through your belly button, wrap them around your leg, and shove them up your ass” was any indication of her abuse. There was plenty of work to be done with Nina, plenty of issues for January to muck about in to her psychologist’s heart’s content.

  Nina’s broken childhood, her hard and quite lean times as an adult, her journey from single court stenographer to cosmetic-slinging dental hygienist to wife of a semi-powerful clan member and mother to what the clan had titled a “vampini,” and her constant defiance of authority were all things that intrigued January.

  But what intrigued her most, what she couldn’t deny, was Nina’s steadfast loyalty to the people she called family, to the people in crisis she helped. She displayed all the signs of a strong leader without the diplomacy of one.

  She bucked the system on a regular basis when called to task for the kinds of shenanigans of which she was accused. Or more precisely, she stuck both middle fingers up at the system and went along her merry way as though there were no rules for proper clan etiquette.

  But what was even more fascinating was how Nina and the other two women involved in this OOPS hotline had met, and become so tightly knit.

  Through selling Bobbie-Sue makeup door-to-door and an accidental bite in an alleyway by a werewolf named Keegan Flaherty.

  Ba-dum-bum.

  Eight years later, there were mates aplenty, demons, cat-shifters, genies, bears, manservants, children, and even a half zombie. But together, they’d built this network of ties to one another. This cobbled-together bond from all walks of the paranormal, which the clan called “unbreakable.”

  The trouble was, while yes, Nina’s friends had indeed sought January’s help, and it was also true they’d waited three months to get an appointment, it wasn’t only because she was so highly revered in her profession.

  The clan, as a whole globally, wanted time to put together a case against Nina. Not just Nina’s immediate clan either. No. The entire race of vampires wanted answers for Nina’s behavior. Council hierarchy had bypassed her immediate officials and even the sire to her clan overruling any objections, deciding it was time to take a closer look at her and her actions.

  All this at the urging of one zealous madman—and this jackhole wanted Dr. January Malone to help prove Nina was no longer fit to be a clan member.

  At
even more of said jackhole’s urging, they wanted this assessment presented at a trial of her elders and the leaders of the paranormal council. This jackhole wanted Nina gone because she was mated to a vampire and was essentially, through the strangest twist of events in a place called Shamalot, a human once again.

  In essence, they—or he, to be precise—wanted her shunned.

  Forever.

  * * * *

  A tall, slender woman, her hair in a fashionable updo, her outfit elegant and pristine, barreled through January’s office door and lobbed Nina from her shoulder onto the chair opposite her desk like a sack of potatoes, knocking over a fake ficus tree in the process.

  She swooped down and stood the tree upright, all while pressing her palm flat to Nina’s chest to keep her rooted in the chair.

  Then she sneered down at her with the oddest mixture of love and annoyance in her eyes January had ever personally witnessed.

  Her next words were cool and calculated. “You move, I eat your face off, Statleon. Feel me, bad ass?”

  As Nina was clearly about to protest, the stylish woman clapped her hand over the ex-vampire’s mouth and leaned in, thrusting her face in her friend’s with flaring nostrils and flashing eyes. “Not a word. Not one. When I move my hand, you will sit like the lady I’ve taught you to be, speak to the nice doctor with full and coherent sentences, and then you will end your session with a big fat ‘thank you for seeing me. May I have another, Dr. Malone?’”

  Nina’s slender fingers wrapped around her friend’s wrist as she tried to remove her hand, but her friend tightened the clamp she had across her mouth and said, “Nod once for yes. Don’t bother to nod for no because I’ll knock your block right off your pretty shoulders if you don’t do what you’re told. Comprende, mi amiga?”

  Nina’s hoodie had fallen from her head, her dark hair cascading around her unfairly gorgeous face as she nodded her consent. Oh, but her eyes, those brilliant charcoal-black, almond-shaped slivers in her head? They said “piss off.”