The Accidental Dragon Read online

  He whirled around, his large body looming over hers. “What do you mean you won’t raise a child with me if I don’t do what you want?”

  “I mean exactly what I said. You have to set an example. Shutting off your feelings like you’re shutting off one of your stupid fire hoses isn’t going to work for me.”

  “You can’t take my rights away, Tessa.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, her teeth chattering when she said, “What are you going to do—take me to dragon court and sue me for custody?”

  Now he was really mad; if his eyes could shoot fireballs the way his mouth did, they’d be shooting them at her. “Okay, if you wanna know, let me lay it on the line for you. The night Noah died? Remember that? We were both heading into that big fire over in Burlington. The five-alarm. Remember?”

  She took a deep breath. She remembered every detail of that night, from the sounds of the bleating sirens to the knock on her door where Mick stood, his face covered in soot, his eyes worn, his body sagging. “What about it?”

  “Just before Noah and I went into that fire, I told him I was in love with you and I was going to tell you as much, and then he told me something. Something that changed everything between us. And then he died, Tessa. He goddamn well died.”

  She was only astonished for a moment before she realized that she’d let him off the hook again if she kept allowing herself to be blown away by the fact that Mick had loved her for so long. “What?” she yelled up into his face. “What did he tell you?”

  Mick’s lips thinned, his face ugly and hard when he snapped, “He told me he didn’t want me to date you. He said I was no good for you, that’s what!”

  The wind in her lungs evaporated, making her stumble backward. She fought to catch her breath. Why would Noah say something like that? He’d loved Mick as much as she had. There had to be a reasonable explanation. “Noah would never, ever say something like that without a reason. He loved you, Mick. He loved you like a brother. Sometimes I think he loved you more than he even loved me!” Hysteria began to rise, not just in her words but in her soul.

  Mick scoffed. “Really? Well, I wouldn’t have known it by the way he sounded that night. No explanation—we didn’t have time for them—just his disapproval. I saw it all over his face, Tessa. And that’s why I kept you at arm’s length. That’s why I reacted the way I did when we found out about the baby. Is that what you wanted to hear? That Noah would probably rather let you date Satan than me?”

  There was no time to react, no time to hash things out because Nina flew out the cottage door, her face paler than Tessa had ever seen it. “Inside. Now!” she shouted, not bothering to wait for them.

  Mick and Tessa exchanged stricken looks before rushing inside to find everyone up and about. Marty was pacing. Wanda was doing that nervous nip to the tip of her nail. Both Carl and Arch were on the couch, Arch soothing Carl, and Frank was huddled in a corner, his eyes closed tight.

  “What happened?” Mick asked. Tessa heard the fear in his question. Knew something was terribly wrong.

  Wanda’s head popped up, her eyes shiny with tears she fought not to shed. “Casey and Darnell were captured,” she said quietly, only a slight tremor in her voice.

  Her worst fear come true. Tessa reached for the back of the couch, gripping it tight. “By who? How?”

  Marty held up her phone and pointed to the screen. “Nine-one-one! They’ve found us out. Only a matter of time before we’re caught. Hiding now, can’t hide much longer. Get help!”

  Tessa’s stomach rolled, horror, terror, anxiety forming a pit in her belly. “So what do we do? How do we get into Hell to help them?” She couldn’t even stop to consider how unbelievable that question really was.

  Wanda sucked in a hard breath, her next words tight. “We’re trying to find some of Darnell’s contacts, but it’s like everyone’s on lockdown. No one is answering us.” In a rare act of frustration, she lobbed the phone onto the couch.

  Mick grabbed Wanda’s hand and squeezed it while Marty wrapped an arm around her waist. “I’m sorry, Wanda. If there’s something I can do, just say the word. I don’t know enough about your world to understand what’s involved, but I’m in.”

  Frank, Tessa thought, narrowing her eyes. Frank was the answer. He was their only in to Hell, and by God, he was going to find that portal. “Frank!” She fought not to yell. The minion scared easily—too easily, which lent credibility to his story that he’d been caught up in an accident and fallen to Hell rather than sent there for misdeeds.

  He uncovered his head, his eyes and nose a distinct red. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. If I could take this back, I would. I swear, I would!”

  She rounded the couch and knelt beside him, sitting him upright and stroking his arm. “It’s okay, Frank. I know you didn’t do this on purpose. But you have to pay attention to me now. Please. We need a vehicle to Hell. You’re our only chance.”

  He shook his head, the hair on it flapping, he shook it so hard. “I don’t know how to get back. I’ve tried more than a dozen times so I can go back and fix this, and the portal won’t open!”

  “Define the portal, Frank. Does a hole just appear out of nowhere and you jump in?” Of course it does, Tessa. Stupidhead.

  Frank sat up then, gripping Tessa’s arm. “Yes! Used to be I just thought it up, but not anymore. Don’t you think I’d go if I could? I know I appear meek and cowardly to you. My whole life was spent being laughed at with the misconception that I’m weak because of my appearance. I may be weak physically, but not morally. I was a good person. I might not have been a superhero, but I wasn’t morally bankrupt like Skeeter.”

  “Bet this Skeeter was the motherfucker who pushed you out of the line,” Nina added, her laptop now open.

  “What?” Frank said, aghast.

  Nina showed the laptop screen to Frank with the article on his death. “I didn’t want to tell you, because it wasn’t gonna make you feel any better, but Skeeter died that night, too. I looked it up on the Internet. You fell on his worthless ass, which made his gun go off. The bullet ricocheted off a vase and hit Skeeter—took his ass right out. What comes around and all that euphemistic jazz, eh, Frank? Though I bet you’ll be glad to know, not one of your fancy clients believed you had anything to do with it.”

  Frank’s lips grew tight. “Oh, that smarmy so-and-so!”

  Nina leaned into him, her eyes intense. “Is that the best you got, Frank? ‘Smarmy so-and-so’? Dude, curse his ass out! Not only did he make you help him rip off your clients, but he knocked your ass out of a line to the great beyond. Dude, that shit’s wrong on all counts. If I were you, I’d be pissed. I’d want revenge.”

  Frank’s breathing became rapid, his eyes round like dimes. “You don’t really think he was the one who knocked me out of line, do you? What a horrible thing to do!”

  Nina poked him in the arm. “Yeah, I do. He died that night, too. If only nice people go upstairs, who else would knock you off your cloud?”

  Frank popped up, taking Tessa with him, holding her hand so tight it was cutting off her circulation. “Oh, that bastard. That dirty thug! I should have known he’d be no good. All my clients’ daughters loved him. In fact, he spent more time flirting with them at their pools than he ever did hauling mulch and caring for those precious roses!”

  Nina jumped up now, too, her eyes shiny, full of antagonism. “And he’s got your special seat on some cloud up there, Frank. Just lollygaggin’ around, watching your ass sweat and do shit that goes against your nature just to keep your soul,” she jeered.

  Tessa didn’t know where Nina was going with this or why, but she was afraid to interfere. It involved a plan—she just didn’t know what it was.

  But Wanda jumped between them. “Nina! Stop harassing this man and focus on our problem. Casey and Darnell are trapped. We need to find a way to get them out.”

  Nina gave Wanda the eyeball—her dagger of death, used especially to warn you to duck. “I’m just telli
n’ it like I see it, Wanda. Frank here got the shitty end of the stick. All because of Skeeter. Skeeter stole his life and his fucking afterlife. Frank could be up there, swinging on a cloud, maybe tendin’ to the big guy’s roses. Bet he has some, too, Frank. Like, as far as the eye can see. But no. Not gonna happen because this dude Skeeter stole that shit right out from under you, didn’t he, Frank?”

  Frank’s face was so red now, if he weren’t already dead, Tessa worried that he’d die of a heart attack. He squeezed her hand harder, digging his nails into it, his jowls quivering.

  “Nina!” Mick bellowed a warning. “Stop! Please. Jesus. The poor guy’s been through enough without you rubbing salt in his wounds. This isn’t getting us anywhere right now. The focus should be on getting into Hell.”

  Nina threw up her hands, letting them slap to her lithe thighs. “Fine. You’re probably right, King Kong. Let’s just forget about how Frank’s life was stolen from him and that he gets to rot in the fiery depths of Hell because that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. When they come drag his ass back there, that’s what Frank can say. Darn you, Skeeter, you smarmy so-and-so,” she taunted.

  Frank began to tremble, his anger palpable, his brow beaded with sweat. He let out a scream so primal, so raw, so full of frustration, Nina clapped her hands over her ears.

  It literally made the windows shake.

  But that wasn’t all his scream did.

  It opened back up that portal he’d been talking about.

  Transporting both him and Tessa down a black, dark hole.

  Okay. So no Google Maps required.

  * * *

  NO one moved. No one spoke.

  For all of five seconds.

  “Fuck!” Mick yelled. “Tell me what just happened isn’t what I think it is, Nina!”

  Nina was in his face in a blur of limbs and color. “If you’d have just shut your big ass mouth, everything would’ve been fine. I had a plan, Gigantor. I gave you the eyeball, you ignored it.”

  But he was angry, angry and worried, and Nina screaming at him just wasn’t going to cut it. “A plan? What kind of plan involves Tessa disappearing?”

  “The plan where we get Frank all riled up. Works for you and Tessa and your wings, figured it’d work for Frank and his portal, too. And look, Sasquatch, it fucking worked!” She swiped a finger under his nose. “If you’d have just stayed the hell out of it, I would have latched onto Frank like he was a chicken wing dipped in ranch and he and I would be in Hell right now. Not him and hardly-able-to-stand-up-with-those-freakin’-wings-of-hers Tessa. You jackass! I gave you the eye!”

  Now Mick gave her the eye. “The eye? How the hell am I supposed to know girl code? Men don’t work like that. We just say it.”

  “You know what, Bigfoot, that’s why you have all this trouble with your girl. You don’t look for the signs, stupid-ass. And you don’t just say it. You hide it away until it damn well festers and starts oozing puss. Then, when it’s good and infected, and you’re madder than a hornet because it hurts, you spew your frustration and screw everything up.” She tugged her ear. “Vampire hearing, remember? We all heard you out there. This is exactly why I hate almost everyone beyond the age of ten. Now shut the fuck up and let me figure out how we’re going to get into Hell. Because you squashed my ride as sure as you stomped all over it with those size sixteens.”

  Frustration, rage, fear all coiled deep in his chest, looking for a way out. He fought the urge, fought the feel of his wings wanting out. But he couldn’t fight his roar of fury—he blew like a top, howling, spraying Tessa’s kitchen, balls of fire erupting from his throat.

  It was over in a matter of seconds. Nothing left but the smoke and cinders.

  Tessa’s wall oven, distorted from the heat of the flames, fell out of the wall and to the floor with a loud clatter.

  Marty and Wanda came to stand on either side of him, their arms crossed over their chests.

  Arch popped his lips as Carl shook his head. “I fear, Sir Mick, upon Tessa’s return, Hell will be the least of your worries.”

  “I have to get to her, Arch. I have to get to her and the baby.” Misery crowded his heart, anguish that he’d never see Tessa or the egg again taking over.

  “I know, sir. We shall find a way. Of this, I assure you. We’ve not failed yet. I won’t allow us to now. Until then, as I ponder, I shall clean this mess. Ladies, help is most appreciated. It will keep our minds busy as we devise a plan.”

  Everyone filed into Tessa’s kitchen, stepping over the dishes that had exploded from the cabinets, picking up the fridge door that had blown clear off.

  Tessa was going to kill him.

  He prayed with everything in him that she’d be able to do just that.

  Because it meant she’d be back here—with him.

  Where she belonged. Where she’d always belonged and he’d just been too damn stupid to tell her.

  Jesus. Please let her and the baby be all right.

  I’m begging. Whatever you want, it’s yours.

  Just say the word.

  Tessa slammed into the ground, a puff of ashes swirling around her, making her cough until her throat was raw. Frank landed on top of her with a heavy thud. She grunted at the impact, her head hitting something sharp.

  Frank rolled off her to his back, moaning as he tried to sit up, his sweet round face tight with visible pain.

  Jesus, it was hot here. Yet another reason she loved living in Vermont. She hated the heat and despised being sweaty. Pulling herself to her knees, she scanned the landscape on all fours, catching her breath. “So is this it, Frank? Are we here?” She shouldn’t have bothered to ask—she didn’t really need to. She felt the egg, felt the connection to it, the warm, thready tendrils of life coursing through her veins.

  The egg was here somewhere.

  And by God, she was going to hunt down whoever wanted it and incinerate them into a pile of ashes with her scary fire-breathing. She didn’t know if you could really freak anyone out in Hell—because really, it was, after all, Hell—but she was damn well going to try.

  “This is the outskirts, yes,” Frank said with a grunt as he rose to his feet, this time offering her his hand and yanking her upward. “You have to pay very close attention to me from here on out. I have to find out where Casey and Darnell are. That won’t be easy. I’ve been gone for too long. They’ll consider me a traitor at this point. So we have to hide in the shadows and eavesdrop. Please, don’t do anything rash. I’d rather be thrown in the bowels and lashed day in, day out than see you hurt.”

  Tessa nodded, her smile intentionally warm. “Thank you, Frank. Thank you for helping me. I know you’re afraid, but I’ll protect you as best I can.”

  “We’ll need all the help we can get, Tessa. I’m a weak minion, but there are others like me who are here under unfortunate circumstances. I don’t know if their declarations of innocence are true, but I hope to glean some information from them.”

  “But how can you trust anyone? Look what they did to you.”

  He pulled her close to his side. “Let’s deal with that when the time comes. For now, stay close, and whatever you do, don’t give in to your fears.”

  “Right. Nina told me the demons will try to prey on my worst nightmares. No giving in. Swear it. So where are we going?” A stab of anxiety drilled at her, at what they were facing, but she fought it off.

  “We’re just outside the gates. The trick is to get inside without being noticed, and not let anyone out in the process.”

  “There really are gates to Hell?”

  “Yes, and they’re heavily guarded. This is the wastelands where lost souls roam endlessly until they choose an allegiance to Satan. It’s dismal, arid, and sure to make you lose your mind. Which is the point, of course. You either give in out of sheer desperation or you wander endlessly, always alone.”

  As Frank tugged her along, she forced herself to look straight ahead, ignoring the faces peeking out from behind blackened shrubs a
nd trees, their mouths slack, their eyes black orbs in their heads.

  The street, like torn cobblestone, rippled beneath their feet, making their journey that much more difficult. As she walked, she focused on visualizing the egg and Mick. The only two bright spots that kept her from dwelling on what she was about to do.

  There was an incessant throb, like a heartbeat, pulsing in her ears, growing stronger as they went, beating, swelling, pushing until she thought she’d go mad.

  Frank gave her hand a yank, squeezing it hard. “Block it out, Tessa. Think of something else. Something happy—something that brings you great joy.”

  She stopped short, wanting to rip her eardrums out. If it didn’t stop, it would drive her right out of her mind. “What is it? Jesus Christ, it’s like an incessant drone,” she spat.

  “Heartbeats. It’s the heartbeats of the souls lost here. Ignore them, Tessa. You’ll have to be strong.”

  Tessa closed her eyes and fought the wave of anguish and misery. So many heartbeats . . .

  Frank yanked her hand, jerking her to him again. “Tessa! Stop now. You can’t give in.”

  Right. No giving in. They needed a distraction, something to occupy their minds. “Sing with me, Frank. Do you like music?”

  “Broadway show tunes.”

  Tessa sucked in a deep breath. “You’re in luck, I know ’em all. You choose.”

  “Cats?”

  “Really, Frank? ‘Memories’? Has to be one of the most depressing songs on the planet. How about The Sound of Music?”

  He winked. “Good choice. I’ll start.” He cleared his throat. “‘Doe, a deer, a female deer,’” he sang, pointing to her.

  “‘Ray, the guy who cleans my gun!’”

  Frank stopped, letting his shoulders sag in disappointment. “Really, Tessa? ‘Ray, the guy who cleans my gun’?”