Accidentally Dead Read online

“I don’t always do it on purpose and I did just have sex. Surely you know what that does to a man’s brain-cell reproduction.”

  “Your brain doesn’t produce anything anymore, and don’t do it at all, on purpose or otherwise.”

  “If you spent more time cultivating your vampire skills instead of bitching about wanting to be a human again, you’d be able to read a mind or three, too.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Really.” He rolled off her, taking Nina with him to nestle her against his chest. Her head fit right under his chin, burrowing beneath it, leaving her feeling secure and sheltered. “I really don’t invade your head on purpose, Nina. Sometimes it just happens before I realize it has. I think it has to do with spending all this time with you. I’ve become attuned to you and your whining and raging.”

  Nina laughed, tired and far more comfortable than she should be against the hardness of his side. “I’m not whining, I’m just not giving up on becoming a human again. Is it so bad to want that, Greg? I mean, what skin would it be off your nose if I did become a human again?”

  He stilled the caress he’d begun along her arm. “None, Nina. I just don’t believe it’s possible. But if it’s any comfort to you, I want what you want. If for no other reason than I won’t have to hunt you down every night at dusk to reassure myself you’ve fed.”

  What did she want?

  The only thing that was ultra clear to her was she wanted more of what had just happened. She’d promised no strings, and she’d meant it.

  Hadn’t she?

  Was making love even worth it with anyone else ever again, if nothing could compare to this?

  Greg stirred against her.

  Fuuuuuuuuuuck. Had he heard that? Jesus, she couldn’t even think alone anymore.

  He placed a kiss on the top of her head. “The sun’ll be up soon, Nina. Rest and let everything else go now.”

  Her hand drifted to the sheets under her. “Don’t we have some clean-up to do?”

  Greg laughed. “Another perk of being a vampire. No wet spot.”

  But…“Didn’t you, you know…”

  His hand cupped her chin, lifting it so he could look her in the eye. “Hell, yeah, Nina. I came, but for vampires it’s more spiritual than physical. We don’t reproduce, remember?”

  “But I was, well, I was…”

  “Aroused? Yep, you were. I told you sex as a vampire was a whole different ball of wax. It has its contradictions. Now sleep. Your constant chatter’s holding up a good nap.”

  Spiritual…

  Oh, it had been many, many things. Adding spiritual to the list of the many, many things it was, was just icing on her sexual cake.

  “Sexual cake,” he muttered with a half smile, before his eyes drifted closed and he slept.

  Damn the sun and its power to draw her into sleep. She wanted to mull this over, understand it, but she was nearing exhaustion. However, that didn’t stop the last vestiges of disbelief from reminding her of what she’d just done.

  She’d just boffed a vampire.

  As a vampire.

  Of all the goddamned things.

  CHAPTER

  11

  Awakening was as easy as it always was for Nina since she’d become part of the undead. The hand she reached across the bed to find Greg wasn’t there? Not so easy to swallow. Like she should have expected him to stick around. She’d offered him the milk—not the cow. She shouldn’t be allowed to have one moment of self-pity.

  Yet, she found she was hoping he’d only be in the bathroom or something.

  Her sheets were tangled around her legs, but she fought her way out of them to sit up and scan her bedroom. Her ears perked.

  Just her and Larry.

  Larry sat up in his cage, sniffing at the plastic with the probable hope she might actually let him run around in his exercise ball again sometime this millennium. His beady eyes sought hers with longing.

  God, she’d been a negligent pet owner, and Larry deserved better, really. Taking the sheet with her, Nina felt it was safe to handle him. She had some blood in the fridge if she got desperate and began to wonder what guinea pig à la mode was like.

  The moment she opened the top of his cage, he scampered toward her hand, jumping up into it. She cuddled him to her chest, stroking his soft fur. “Dude, my apologies. It’s just been a little crazy around here, ya know? How about a nice run in your ball and then a carrot? I think I still have some.”

  Larry didn’t protest when she popped open the ball and placed him inside, immediately taking off on the floor in a blue flash of plastic the second she set him down.

  The moment had come to ponder last evening’s festivities.

  She’d had sex with a vampire.

  The best sex evah.

  Seriously, like evah. She’d had her share of sex before this, and nothing had ever been as hot or as satisfying as Greg’s hands and mouth on her.

  Maybe it was just because she was a vampire that it seemed to have such magnitude? Greg had said it was intense.

  She went to the kitchen to pick up her phone and dial Wanda. Wanda would know how to help her come to terms with this. Wanda was sensitive and a kind soul.

  “Nina? Are you okay? I know you were mad at us last night, but we’re only telling you what we think is the best advice we have to offer. We didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “I’m not upset, Wanda.”

  She paused. “Is this Nina Blackman? The one who’s a new vampire Nina Blackman?”

  She smiled, oddly filled with serenity and goodwill. “Yes, Wanda. It’s me.”

  “But it can’t be—you’re way too calm, way too nice. The Nina I know yells and swears. Did the pod people come and swap bodies with you or what?”

  “No, but they may as well have.”

  “Now what happened? Do you have to do something else that’s too high on your ick factor?”

  “No. There was nothing icky about this.” Nada icky. Like Nada.

  “Oh, God, what have you done?”

  “I had sex with a vampire.”

  “Oh, Jesus Christ in a miniskirt, Nina!” Wanda burst out, and that she was swearing was a sure sign she was disturbed. Then the panic in her voice subsided briefly. “Wait, did you have sex-sex or did you just cop feels—mutually masturbate or something?”

  Mutually masturbate? Okay, this cheesy reading hobby had taken Wanda to places Nina never thought she’d go. “Wow, Wanda, who’s been replaced by pod people? We had sex-sex, for sure.”

  Her gasp was sharp, cutting. Not at all sensitive or kind of soul. “Do you know what you’ve done? Now you’re mated for life with him! Have you lost your mind?”

  Nina tsk-tsked into the phone with a light chuckle and thought about how much she was going to sound like Greg. “Knock off the romance novel crap, Wanda. Some of it is true, yes, but just because we had sex doesn’t mean we’re mated for life. So find your calm and chill out.”

  The long silence between their connection told Nina Wanda was disapproving, but appeased for the moment. “Oh. Well, okay then. But you’ve only known him for a little while, Nina, and hated his guts for almost all of that time.”

  “In the new millennium, Wanda, some people have sex on the second date and never see each other again. I’d say we set some kind of record for longest vampire courting.”

  “Oh, don’t go preaching about the ways of dating these days to me. I’m only thirty-three, and I might be out of the dating scene, but I’m not old and dried up. I watch TV. I’m just saying you couldn’t exactly call yourselves dating. So how’d this go down?”

  The age-old explanation might be trite, but it definitely applied here. “It just happened.”

  “Uh-huh. That’s usually the way of a one-night stand. What I meant was, you thought he was a creepy guy who wanted to turn you into some monster. Thoughts like that don’t typically lead to a slap and tickle.”

  Had it been a one-night stand? Fuck. Now was when the insecurities would set in, and
that just wasn’t her thang. But the question still remained—was it a one-night stand? “He can be all right if you let him.”

  “All right? Hold on a second, Nina. Wasn’t it just last night that Marty and I were extolling his virtues and you were still whining he was a jerk who wanted to take over the world one dental hygienist at a time?”

  Yeah. That’d been her. “Um, yes. That was me.”

  “And this has changed how?”

  “I dunno. I went to a movie last night, and he—”

  Momentarily distracted, Wanda cooed, “Oohhhhhhh, whadja see?”

  “Beaches.”

  “Shut up. You saw Beaches?”

  “So?”

  “So, it wasn’t Die Hard or Full Metal Jacket, and that just proves the point I was going to make. You’re not right in your head. If you sat through Beaches, the Apocalypse is coming. Of that I’m sure.”

  “What I saw wasn’t the point, Wanda. The point is he came and found me—”

  Wanda breathed a sigh filled with romantic inflection. “In the movies of all places…oh, that’s soooo sweet.”

  Her hand ran through the tangled strands of her hair, fighting exasperation. “Wanda, just be quiet and let me finish. Anyway, he came to check and see if I’d fed and we talked.” She paused, unsure exactly when her ginormous change of heart had happened. It was somewhere between seeing the remorse on his face for having been turned and talking it out at the cemetery. “He told me things about his clan, and we actually had a conversation instead of screaming at each other.”

  Wanda’s comment was dry. “I’d bet that was like Christmas for poor Greg, but one decent conversation a sexual encounter does not make.”

  Nina wrapped her arms around her waist, cradling the phone against her shoulder, her smile wistful. “I guess for us it did.”

  “You know what it is, Nina?”

  “What is it?”

  “He doesn’t take your crap, and you find that sexy as hell. You can’t just send him on his way because he’s pissed you off. He won’t let you.”

  Yeah, that she couldn’t ruffle his bat wings turned her on—definitely. Not that she’d admit it to anyone.

  “I can’t even believe I’m asking this. So was it…you know, good?”

  Good was like crazy downplaying it. That was like saying winning the gold medal at the Olympics was just “good.” It was too mediocre a word for what had happened last night. “Um, I think I can say with all honesty it was the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire life, and while I’m no slut, you know I’ve had some sex in my time. It was so many adjectives I don’t think I can list them all.”

  “Holy frijole—”

  Shit, her doorbell was ringing, interrupting their conversation. “I gotta go, Wanda. Someone’s at the door.”

  “But—waaaaiiiiit. I want to hear about the best sex ever,” she squawked, her voice drifting farther away, as Nina clicked the off button.

  Nobody rang her doorbell. Certainly Greg didn’t. She tightened the sheet around her, hopping over Larry who was zipping around like Speed Racer. Cracking the door, Nina’s eyes narrowed.

  Her landlord.

  Who she owed almost two months rent to.

  Motherfucker.

  His fist hit the door when she didn’t immediately open it. “It is I, Unmesh from India, Ms. Neena. I am needing you.”

  Unmesh was a decent guy—even if he had the odd practice of announcing where he came from every time he rang her doorbell. He loved everything American—especially Kentucky Fried Chicken and Twinkies.

  He’d given her a break a time or twenty this past year, and she didn’t want to jeopardize his goodwill by telling him she didn’t have the rent.

  Which meant she was going to lie, and that meant she had to think fast.

  Her excuse was at the ready as she threw the chain off the door and poked her head around it to find Unmesh of India, raven-haired, dark complexioned, and wearing his native garb. She called him U because it was so much easier to remember.

  When he saw her, he flashed her a white-toothed grin, leaving her confused, because he should be pretty pissed. “Look, U, I’m sorry I didn’t get the rent to you last week, but I promise I’ll go to the bank and get—”

  Unmesh held up a hand. His eyes, the color of ripe black olives, were twinkling. “You are not needing to explain, Ms. Neena. I come wid a message for you.”

  Baffled, Nina cocked her head. “You didn’t come for the rent?”

  His grin widened. “It is paid.”

  By who? The fucking rent fairy? “By?”

  “No, do not say good-bye, Unmesh is not finished.”

  “No, U, I meant by who. Who paid the rent?”

  “Ahhhh. I see. It is tall man. Native to dis country, I tink. He is vedy, vedy white.”

  Greg? Greg had paid her rent? “Was his name Greg?”

  Unmesh smiled the smile of the wicked. A smile that suggested he knew some big secret and shrugged. “I am not knowing. I do not ask question. I only know he pay de rent for one year.” U held up a single finger for emphasis.

  Nina’s mouth dropped open. Oh, no. No, no, no. She didn’t want his money.

  “I come to tell you someting.” He leaned in toward her and whispered, “It is okay if you want to, what is dis word? Have party…”

  Party…“What? U, you’re not making any sense to me. I don’t have parties, and you know it. The biggest party I can remember was when Wanda’s house was being painted and she needed a place to have her Bobbie-Sue recruit meeting. Remember the gaggle of women? That’s the only party I can think of.” God, what a mess of giggling, lipsticked broads that had been.

  He winked one big, black eye at her. “Dis is not what I am meaning. I am meaning a party at night.”

  What. The. Fuck. “A party at night? I still don’t get what this has to do with the rent, U.”

  Umesh rocked back on his heels and clucked his tongue, still smiling. “I tink you know what I am knowing.”

  Nina didn’t know what he was knowing, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know what he was knowing. Ya know? “U, I have no clue what the hell you’re talking about, and I have to go.” She had a vampire to ream a new one.

  He prevented her from closing the door by putting his hand against it. “You can have secret man party at night, but,” he held up a stern finger to shake at her, “you must be vedy private.”

  Something in the way he said private put the pieces of the puzzle together for Nina. Suddenly, she got it. She shook her head vehemently, her tangled hair falling in her face. He thought…oh, hell, he thought…“Oh, no, U. It’s not like that—”

  He snapped his fingers together creating the shape you made when you were making the head of an alligator in the shadows on the wall, motioning her to quiet. “You are not needing to tell me, Miss Neena. It is our secret. But you must be quiet. If de police find out, it could be vedy, vedy ugly.”

  U thought she was hooking for cash. At night. With Greg as one of her clients.

  Christ on a cracker.

  So how was she going to explain this? “No, U, you’re misunderstanding—”

  He did the thing with his hand again. “Ack! No needing to tell Unmesh from India anyting.” He chuckled wickedly. “Ahhh, Amedica de land of de free. Good place, Amedica.” He waved to her as he sauntered down the hall.

  What the hell had she been thinking? This—this was what she got for overanalyzing what should have been left characterized as a good schtup. Nothing more, nothing less. That she’d been all warm and fuzzy over it disgusted her. She was never warm and fuzzy about anything.

  The bastard felt guilty, and so he’d decided to assuage his guilt by buying his way out of it.

  How dare he interfere in her personal affairs?

  He was all up in your personal affairs last night, girlie.

  Son of a bitch.

  Welllll, he had another thing coming if he thought he could just buy her off like some cheap tart. Nina stomped i
nto the kitchen, scooping up Larry as she went. She’d feed, and then she’d drag her ass back to the Island to tell him he could keep his money.

  She yanked open the door of the fridge and almost dropped Larry.

  He’d stocked her refrigerator with packets of blood. Rows and rows of it. Her eyes told her it was the right kind of blood, too. All negative.

  Was this his way of saying thanks for the lay, ciao, baby? Like buying the woman you slept with a pretty trinket so she wouldn’t bawl her eyes out when you dumped her? Or was he feeling guilty because as of right now, her only option for work was the graveyard shift? She didn’t want his money. She’d make her own, even if she had to find a job at a twenty-four-hour bodega.

  Ohhhhhhhh, when she got her hands on him, she’d—she’d…

  You’ll what, Nina? Go a couple rounds with him? Think vampire, moron. Stronger, faster, as in he can totally take you. He has the technology.

  Now what?

  That he was stronger than her hadn’t stopped her before. The only thing she did know was things were going to get vedy, vedy ugly.

  NINA kicked the leaves scattering Greg’s walkway as she strode up to his door. At the rate she’d traveled tonight, with delays and such, she could have walked faster than public transportation had taken to get her here. She’d vaguely wondered if she really could walk faster than public transportation, then dismissed it as being too Bionic Woman for her.

  The ride into Long Island hadn’t cooled her anger. It seared her gut, burning a hole in her stomach. That she’d fallen for his bullshit tweaked her beyond words.

  And she always had words.

  Her phone chirped, warning her she had a message. Not only was the ride long to get here to Posh-ville, it apparently didn’t get a cell phone signal either. Her phone had been on the entire trip. Punching in her code to retrieve her voicemail, she frowned.

  It was a message from the supposed mystery vampire from the bar. Fuck, she’d totally forgotten about him because she was off losing her brain cells one by one while boinking the vampire. And that this mystery vampire had her cell number freaked her out. She definitely hadn’t given it to him, but he’d said he’d call to set up a meeting just before disappearing. In fact, if she recalled their conversation right, he’d said he’d been trying to call her for days.