You Dropped a Blonde on Me Read online

  Adam pulled her into his arms, sending waves of thankful relief throughout her body. He smiled. “If you pay, you’re in control,” he teased, nipping her lips.

  “Yeah, but if you pay, I’m facing my fears and letting go of that burdensome control,” she whispered, kissing him back.

  “So let’s begin again. I’m Adam Baylor Crestwall and I think you’re hot. Wanna have a meal with me I pay for?”

  Her laughter filled the cold air. “I’m Lenore Erickson, and you’re hot, too. So I definitely want to have a meal with you that you pay for.”

  Arm around her waist, Adam led her to his car.

  Len let her head rest on his shoulder, broad and strong.

  And it was good.

  So good.

  Max swung into a parking space so fast, all of NASCAR would be jealous. Slamming the car into park, she scanned the lot of Home Depot for Campbell’s old truck.

  The wind picked up in chilling gusts, sending orange carts in every direction. Christ, it was only early October. It was too early for it to be so damned cold.

  She spotted Campbell at the exit, tall, huddling deeper into a goose-down black jacket and pushing a loaded cart.

  On the other end of the parking lot.

  “Campbell Barker!” she yelled as loud as she could over the wind.

  His dark head, covered in a navy blue knit cap, turned then looked away.

  Oh, if he’d seen her and was opting to ignore her because he was feeling spiteful when it was this cold out, she was going to throttle him—if she caught up with him.

  She began a light jog toward him. “Campbell! Wait! Please! You listen to me, Campbell Barker!” Max shouted across the parking lot, ignoring the curious turn of heads. She’d humiliated herself publicly for something far less costly than the love of her life walking away forever.

  Campbell’s steps slowed, the rigid pull of his jacket across his back Max’s sole focus. Yet he didn’t stop. Grrrrr, if her foot wasn’t now numb, she’d stomp it.

  “Campbellllllllllllll!” she howled.

  And still, he kept moving, head down against the wind.

  So she ran—with the kind of determination she’d only reserved for stealing Candy Corwin’s tiara from her at the Miss Rudniki’s Deli and Twelve Pins pageant of 1982.

  Like her life depended on it.

  Because it did. Okay, dramatic. Her future happiness depended on it.

  She lost a shoe in her trek. But no worries, it wasn’t like it was a Louboutin.

  She tripped on a pothole. Didn’t Home Depot have cement to fill those things?

  She avoided a careening shopping cart, tearing her nylons. Jesus, they just didn’t make pantyhose like they used to.

  She zigzagged in front of a car whose driver in turn furiously honked his ire. Well, for the love of—get some glasses. It wasn’t like she was a size two. Surely he’d seen her ass from a mile away.

  She fought for just one more gulp of air. Seriously? She was going to rethink Miss Kitty’s Calisthenics on Thursdays.

  Max sprinted the last one hundred feet until she thought she’d drop an ovary from the effort. Her hand grabbed at Campbell’s arm, missing by but an inch and crashing into him instead.

  He was there, like he always was, setting her upright, ensuring her safety.

  God, please, let me get this right. If you’re still on a Maxine hiatus, I hope you’ll give me one encore performance. Just one more. “Wait,” she heaved, her breathing ragged, bending at the waist, but clutching his arm like she’d never let go.

  And she wouldn’t. Not if someone held a gun to her head. “Wa—wait. Lemme—catch—my—breath.” The parking lot spun and she wobbled, but she hung on.

  “Max, why are you here?” was his gruff question.

  She held up a hand and took another deep gulp of air. “To stop you.”

  “From buying PVC?”

  “From making the biggest mistake of your life.”

  Campbell went silent.

  She rose, facing him head-on—eyeball to eyeball. “That’s right. You heard me. If you fly off to London or wherever you’re going, and leave me, you’ll be making the biggest mistake of your life.”

  His face didn’t show an ounce of emotion. “I didn’t leave you, Max. You left me. I just said it out loud.”

  Her hands, red and cold, flapped dismissively. “Technicalities. It’s petty to place blame, don’t you think?”

  Campbell went all quiet again, but the flare of his nostrils said she’d better move along little doggie.

  “Okay. Okay. I left you, but I made a huge mistake. A mistake I want to make right.”

  Campbell’s hands jammed into the pockets of his jacket. “I can’t do this with you, Max. Not anymore. We’ve gone back and forth about this, and as much as it hurts to let go, I have to. I told you once I wasn’t going to chase you forever, and I meant it.”

  “That’s why I’m chasing you!”

  His expression was ironic. “Tell me something. What made you come after me tonight, Max?”

  “Your father told me you were leaving for London tonight.”

  “Exactly. It was impulse. By tomorrow, you’ll have changed that pretty mind of yours again—created some future disaster you’re sure I’m going to spearhead to hurt you.”

  Max’s smile was smug when she gazed up at him. “Ah, but I didn’t make the decision to chase you tonight. I made it the night you slapped me in the head with the truth. That was four days ago. Ask Len if you don’t believe me.”

  “How do I know that’s true?”

  Max read his doubt and owned that she deserved it. “You don’t. I could be lying through my uninsured, capped teeth. You’ll just have to trust me.”

  Campbell’s head shook with firm skepticism, his face hard with frustration. “Right, and just when I get to the point where I think you’re comfortable, where I’m actually starting to believe the effort I put into easing your mind has actually sunk in, you freak out again by clobbering me out of the blue with your two-by-four of insecurity? I’m not into that kind of masochistic repetitive shit, Max. I did everything I could think of to reassure you I’m not that prick Finley Cambridge. I was patient. I waited for you to see the effort I put into making you realize I’m a whole different breed of man. I didn’t need a pat on the back. I didn’t need an encouraging word from you. All I wanted was your trust—communication. But you never even noticed.”

  “But I’m noticing now.”

  “Until the next time. I’m tired of waiting for you to get it through your thick skull. I don’t want to wait around so it can happen again. I’ve waited for you forever, but forever just ran out.”

  Forever? Her heart fluttered. “Wait, what?”

  “What-what?”

  Max latched on to his jacket. “What do you mean you’ve waited for me forever?”

  Campbell’s laughter was a cynical bark. “I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you in chemistry class. I had a crazy crush on you back then, and it all came back the day I saw you at the Cluck-Cluck Palace.”

  Max’s heart tightened, so painfully it thrust against her chest like it would jump right out. He’d never said a single word in all this time, making every stupid mistake she’d made with him magnified to the nth degree.

  She bracketed his face with her hands, forcing him to see her. Really see who was standing in front of him. “This isn’t impulse talking because you’re flying off to a place where they call the bathroom a loo. This isn’t my fear of being left high and dry again, asking you to stay. No one can leave me high and dry ever again, Campbell. If you still decide to go, it’ll make me really sad, but I won’t die of it. So hear me when I tell you, I’ve waited forever for you, too. I didn’t know it. I didn’t want to admit it, and when it happened, I didn’t see it clearly. I didn’t understand it, but I do now.” She knew.

  She knew, she knew, she knew.

  The shake of his head was followed by a wry grin. “If this is going to be f
ollowed by ‘you complete me,’ I have a plane to catch.”

  “Then you have a plane to catch,” she whispered, keeping the tears she wanted to sob at bay. “You get me. You hear me. You want me despite the fact that I don’t always get me. You ground me when I get too far ahead of myself. Those are all things I lack—deficits I don’t always have control over. It completes who I am, rounds me out as a flawed human being, and if you go, I’ll strive to handle those things all on my own. But I can tell you this: Trips to Home Depot just aren’t going to be the same.”

  The subtle change in his expression, the life his blue eyes took on, spurred her on. “And you know what else, Campbell Barker?” she asked with a lighthearted grin.

  The arm she clung to relaxed a fraction of an inch. “Do share.”

  “I’m going to make more mistakes. I just know I am, because that’s who I am right now. This is me telling you I’ll flub up some more. Maybe not as big, maybe not as dramatic, but flub I will. I don’t know a healthy relationship from a pair of Payless shoes, but I’m sure gonna try to be an active participant in figuring it out. I can be a neurotic, paranoid loon, but from this moment on, no matter who I become involved with, I’m out in the open about it. Yes, I, Max Cambridge, can be infuriatingly difficult. There,” she said with a jut of her chin. “Now all I need is a strong, determined man who can handle a hot tamale like me.” She let the challenge slip from her lips, daring him to take the bait. “So either it’ll be you, or somewhere down the road, it’ll be someone else. But I will move ahead, and I will have another relationship. A successful one.”

  The corner of Campbell’s lips gave a slight turn upward. “You callin’ me weak because I threw my hands up in the air?”

  “Nope. I’m calling you misguided for dumping me—or letting me dump you.”

  Max watched the war in his head via his undecided blue eyes as they stared down at hers. It was time to bring out her last bit of artillery.

  “And here’s something else you might want to chew on while you sip high tea over there in London. I. Love. You. That’s right. I said it. I. Love. You. I didn’t want to. I was afraid to let it happen. But there it is. Do with it what you will.” Letting go of his arm, Max turned to leave with one last thought. “I, on the other hand, am getting into my car before my teeth break from chattering and my feet get dry and cracked. I can’t afford pedicures these days and no man—no man— is worth that kind of ugly.”

  “Did I just hear you right?”

  Max stopped, her back to him, a chattering smile flitting across her lips. “You heard me. No man’s worth ugly feet.”

  Campbell’s hand clamped on to her shoulder, turning her around. “Did you just tell me you love me?”

  Max’s eyebrow rose. “Do you need to borrow Irene Riley’s hearing aid?”

  “Say it again. Go on. I dare you,” he taunted.

  She let go a mock sigh of irritation. “I love you, but my feet right now? Not so much. I’m missing a shoe.”

  Campbell was grinning, the biggest, widest grin she’d seen on his lips to date. “You said it first.”

  “Is there a rule that says I shouldn’t?”

  “You came all the way over here to tell me you—love—me.”

  Max understood the huge step she’d taken, and now she recognized Campbell understood, too. She was putting herself out on a limb, whether it was comfortable or not, wobbling her way toward him with the best imitation of a tightrope walker she knew how to do. “Yeah, well, I’ll be loving you from the afterlife if you keep me out here one more second.”

  Campbell hauled her into his arms, stopping her world when he drew her lips to his. They were warm despite the freezing temperature, warm and healing.

  Max sighed into his mouth, soft, willing, pushing her hands under his jacket to wrap her arms around his lean waist.

  Campbell pulled away first when she shivered. “You’re freezing, honey, and you only have one shoe.”

  Max clung to his neck. “I’d have two if you didn’t make me chase you down like Flo-Jo,” she said with a smile against his neck.

  “So I guess you don’t want to push the cart?”

  “I want to go home and bathe in the microwave.”

  Campbell suckled her bottom lip, sending hot waves of pleasure along her spine. “I can think of better ways to warm you up.”

  Her sigh was breathy, and she almost lost focus. “Yeah, me, too.”

  “Reallllly?” he drawled, low and sexy.

  “Yep, and I’ll show you all three and a half of them if you do the right thing here.”

  “In the parking lot? Wow, Max Henderson—give you four days of self-healing and you’re an animal,” he growled.

  Letting her arms fall to her sides, Max penetrated his desire-filled gaze with serious eyes. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it, and hurry it up before I have to have my foot amputated.”

  A lone snowflake fell, landing on her nose. Campbell brushed it away then cupped her chin, his eyes tender and so, so genuine. “I love you, Max Henderson. Big.”

  A sting of pleasure punctured her heart. Perfect and pure, it settled in right where it should have always been. Exactly where it now belonged. Max pulled him down for a kiss. “Know what really says love?”

  Scooping her up, he carried her toward his truck. “What’s that, honey?” he grunted.

  “A new pair of shoes.”

  “I’ll scour Payless until its shelves are bare,” Campbell teased, yanking open the door to his truck and tucking her inside.

  “Promise?” she asked, dragging him to her lips for one more delicious kiss.

  His blue eyes held hers for a long moment, solemn and honest in the intent she recognized he meant to convey. “That’s definitely a promise.”

  EPILOGUE

  Note from Max Henderson-Barker to all ex-trophy wives and a final note on the art of sucking it up: When life sends you a monsoon, once the heavy rainfall has passed and you clear the debris, suck it up, Princess, and dance in the puddles. You can do this. You will do this—even if it blows big chunks. You will not give up. Nothing in life is worth having if it comes easy. Just ask me—I’ve got buttloads of worth.

  “So now that you’ve heard my story, in closing, this is what I have to say to all of you. I know where you are. I lived where you are. I hated where you are,” Max said, tacking on a knowing smile.

  Her audience laughed. An audience that included Lacey Gleason. An audience of ten women or so, tired, alone, afraid.

  But not for long. “But I can assure you, short of a natural disaster, I’m never going back to where you are again. And if I can prevent it, I promise you don’t have to stay where you are either. Here at Trophy Jobs Employment Agency we provide job training, counseling, and the first of its kind Suck It Up, Princess, Boot Camp for the formerly privileged. It won’t be easy for a lot of you. Adjusting to places like Walmart and Payless shoes will seem like a travesty. However, I need you to trust me when I tell you, Payless shoes are better than no shoes. Walmart might not employ personal shoppers, but it has a helluva deal on ramen noodles in bulk.”

  Each woman glanced around her, unsure, afraid, yet Max saw the determination to survive. It was only an ember, but who better than her to breathe life into that spark of a flame?

  Her smile was warm when she concluded, “In closing, I’d just like to say that first, I’m so happy to have you all as employees. You each bring something unique to the Trophy Employment table, and I look forward to your input. And second, as we begin this venture together, one more bit of advice—no one but you can truly help yourself. It takes strength and the will to succeed—no whiners allowed. But if you heed my words when I say, ‘Suck it up, Princess,’ and get to the business of thriving, I promise you, you’ll dance in the puddles of the monsoon responsible for washing away your former life.”

  From the back of the room, Campbell began to clap, joined by Len and Adam, who sat side by side, holding hands. Following suit were Connor
, Mona, Mary, Gail, Mr. Hodge, Garner, and several of the seniors from the Village who’d offered their retired services in starting up Trophy Jobs Employment.

  Max made her way around the tables in the coffee room, giving each woman a hug and a word of encouragement.

  Campbell held out a hand to her, and she took it, still thrilled by the shot of happiness it sent to her heart. “So, how does it feel to be a business owner on her way to getting a fancy college degree, Max Barker?”

  Max planted a kiss on his lips. “It feels pretty damn good.”

  Connor handed out paper cups filled with pink punch, nudging Max. “I have to hurry, Mom. I hate to trash your big day, but I gotta get back to study for my SAT.”

  Max tweaked his cheek. “I’m so proud of you, kiddo, and I’ll miss you like crazy when you’re off at college. Now, gimme a hug and beat feet.” Connor obliged before thumping Campbell on the back and taking off.

  “Wise investment you made with all that money Dorothy left you, Maxine,” Adam commented, tucking Len closer to him. Never once had Adam asked for payment of the debt Max owed him for not only helping her finally get divorced, but for recouping the money Dorothy had intended for her and Connor.

  In turn, when Adam had come across two women so much like the person she once was, who needed representation but were penniless, she’d hired them. Skilless, clueless, and still sobbing over the loss of their private jets as they were.

  “That’s my girl,” Mona bragged. “Finally landed on her feet. She’s a slow learner, but when she gets it, she gets it.”

  Gail poked her head over Mona’s shoulder. “I still say you should have shipped Penis-less off to jail for stealing your money.”

  Len’s head nodded her agreement, running an affectionate hand over Adam’s arm. “I’m with Gail. I rather liked the mental picture of him in orange.”

  Max shot Gail and Len an affectionate smile. “Oh, don’t think for a second I wouldn’t have, but he agreed to counseling with Connor and he shows up twice a week faithfully. If it mends their fences and teaches Fin to be a better parent, I’d rather see that than him end up Little Anthony’s bitch.”