Paranormal Mates Society: Chunkybuttfunky Read online

  Yeah, a werewolf was what he wanted out of life. You are a vampire. Can you spell that, Cady? V-a-m-p-i-r-e. Vampire. Say it with me, now. Vampire. As opposed to werewolf. Double-you-e-r-e-double-you-o-l-f. Werewolf. Like the one in London. Big difference, night dweller. Cadence shoved the ever present warning of her conscience firmly away. “Have you ever dated a human?”

  He bent his dark head when he replied. “Yep.”

  “And? It didn’t work out because your parents want you to date werewolves?”

  “No, it didn’t work out because it didn’t work out. I can and do date whomever I want, Cadence. My parents won’t have a say in the end. I put werewolves in my profile because…” He paused for a mere moment, making Cadence’s acute senses flutter. “Because it seemed like the easiest route. You know, to meet one of your kind, er, one of our kind.”

  Right. Our kind being the kind who didn’t lie like a Persian rug. Oh, God, she had to tell him.

  “Hey, let’s go back to my place and watch a movie,” he said, pulling his wallet out to pay for the check the waiter had discreetly left on the corner of the table.

  Okay, so now didn’t have to mean now. Like right now. Now could mean a little bit later. “Yeah, let’s do that, but I’m not watching Gladiator again, Collin. It’s my turn to pick and I pick anything but Gladiator.”

  Grabbing her hand, he pulled her to him. “Like it really matters anyway. We haven’t finished a single movie since we began seeing each other.”

  She tweaked his side with a playful pinch. “Sex, sex, sex, it’s all about the sex, Mr. AKC.”

  Collin wiggled his eyebrows and grinned, that boyish grin he let slip sometimes when he wasn’t keeping it to himself. “Yeah, so let’s go do that, you know, sex, sex, sex thing,” he whispered, convincing her that she could wait just a little longer to tell him the truth.

  As they made their way out to his truck, Cadence caught a glimpse of the moon in the dark of the sky.

  Another week or so and it would be full.

  And she would be, essentially, fucked.

  Fan-tab-u-lous-ly, royally ruined.

  She had to tell him.

  Just not right now.

  Chapter Six

  “I think I’m in love.”

  “That’s nice, Cady. I can tell by the dreamy look on your face it’s love. Love is a many splendored thing, chica. However, it might not be so splendiferous when you go into it lying like Pinocchio,” Pam reminded her.

  Oh, yeah, there was that.

  “So when do you plan to tell the nice, furry guy you ain’t no werewolf?”

  The twelfth of never seemed a suitable time frame. “Um, soon?”

  “Yeah, soon seems to be the right answer. Cady, you can’t go on like this. You just can’t. If what you say is true and werewolves shift when the moon is full as like some sort of ritualistic, bonding thing, you’d better either get hairy quick, or tell him, because you’ve got two days to do it.”

  Two days and it would be over. Two days and Collin would be using the word liar like it was her first name. Two days and she would lose the man she was falling in love with because she was a bat, not a werewolf. “Don’t you think I know that, Pam? I think about it every waking moment and then, I have horrible dreams about me out under the full moon with him, squeezing hard to try and shift into something I’m not! I know I have to tell him. I just don’t know how.”

  Pam flicked her napkin across the table at Cadence with annoyance. They were sharing a pint of blood at Cadence’s kitchen table, while trying to figure out what the hell to do next. “Oh, I know how, Cady, and so do you. You say, ‘Hey, Collin. I’m a big fucking liar. I don’t like steak and I don’t prey on small woodland creatures. I’m not a werewolf like I’ve led you to believe all of this time. I’m a vampire. A bat, essentially, and when I shift, I have wings and fangs and I drink blood.’ That’s what you tell him, Cady, and you’d better do it soon.”

  Cadence laid her head on her kitchen table and scrunched her eyes shut. She supposed if vampires got headaches, she’d have a migraine by now. “I know, I know,” she whimpered into the cool Formica.

  Pam got up, the chair legs scraping on the linoleum as she did. She lifted Cadence’s head and looked her directly in the eye. “Guurrl, you keep saying you know, but you haven’t done jack shit to make it right. I’m your friend and I just want you to be happy, but I don’t want you to base that happiness on a lie. Even if you were able to escape the full moon thing, you’d have to tell him eventually. How long do you think you can keep hiding the fact that you drink blood for nourishment?”

  “I like Pepsi…”

  “Yeah, so do I, but it won’t keep me undead for very long and it won’t keep you that way either, Cady.”

  Point.

  “Maybe he won’t care, Cady. Maybe he’s as nuts about you as you are about him and a little thing like being a vampire isn’t going to faze him. He might be pissed at first, but he can’t ignore the connection you’ve made.”

  Maybe. Doubtful, but maybe.

  “Cadence Cranston, get a fucking grip, would you? This guy likes you just as you are. Well, almost just as you are. He likes the person you are. He likes talking to you. He obviously likes twisting your panties in a knot. He likes spending time with you. So why wouldn’t he like you despite the fact that you’re a vampire? You have all of these elements working in your favor and if you added the truth to them, this could be it.”

  Oh, it would be it, all right.

  The over kind of it.

  Pam let her head flop back on the table. “I’m done trying to talk some sense into you. I have to go meet Larry for our bowling tournament. Call me when you need my shoulder to sob on, and you will, Cady. If you don’t get this over with, you will. Bye, Elvira.” Pam left, her words ringing in Cadence’s ears.

  She would need a shoulder to cry on.

  That was okay. Pam had big shoulders.

  * * *

  Collin slugged back his second beer and looked at his watch. He’d better get his ass in gear if he was going to pick up Cadence on time.

  His phone chirped. Flipping it open, he frowned into it. “Grayson,” he answered in clipped tones.

  “Collin? What the fuck is the hold-up here?”

  “I can’t make the moon full on command, bud. It didn’t come with my special super powers welcome kit.” You asshole.

  The crackled laughter over the line made Collin narrow his eyes. “You always were a wiseass, Grayson. Did you make a date to meet her yet?”

  He toyed with the peanuts in the bowl on the bar and sighed with exasperation into the phone. “I told you I’d take care of it and I will. Now if you don’t stop fucking calling me, there’s gonna be a time she catches me on the phone with you and then we’re fucked. So get the hell off my back and wait all nice and patient like a good boy.” Dumbass.

  “Yer hangin’ by a thread, Collin. This better be the right one and it better be done right,” he warned.

  Thread this, shit stain. “I told you I’d be in touch in a couple of days when it’s done and I will. I gotta go. I’ll get back with you in a couple,” Collin spat and flipped his phone shut before he could listen to more of his objections. He wasn’t going to do it and that was simply that. Fuck him.

  A hard thump on his back made Collin swing around on his stool, forgetting his phone call for the moment. “What the --”

  “Hey, buddy. Long time no see. How’s it goin’?” the half-snockered drunk asked.

  It took a minute before he registered with Collin and then, he gave him a good natured thump back. “It’s goin’ okay. How ‘bout you?” Obviously, not much had changed since he’d last run into him. He smelled as drunk as he had the last time they’d spoken.

  “Issss good. Hey, you get a date on dat sssite?”

  Collin stiffened. “Yeah, yeah, I did and I gotta hurry up and meet her.”

  He smiled at Collin, watery and lopsided, revealing his chipped corner tooth. “T
hasss good. I didn’t get one. Bunch of picky vampires out dere, I tell ya. Maybe I’d be better off trying the demon category?” He wobbled forward and his breath fanned Collin’s face.

  Collin tried to gasp for some clean air without being obvious. “I’m damn sorry to hear that. Who wouldn’t want a nice guy like you?”

  He shrugged his shoulders and leaned on Collin. His rumpled suit jacket reeked of smoke and a smell Collin didn’t want identification for. “I dunno. I jus’ know dat dem women should be grateful I sent ‘em an e-mail. I’m glad it worked out okay fer you. You got a nice lady werewolf now? You said you was lookin’ for a wolf.”

  Yeah, he had a nice lady werewolf that he’d managed to fall in some serious like with.

  Screw like.

  He knew it was beyond that and Collin also knew he was in knee-deep crap. Or he would be. How the fuck this had all turned into something much more than he’d bargained for was beyond him. The goals he’d begun with were not the ones he was now left with. “Yeah, man. I got a nice lady,” he said, wincing at the words as he spoke them for the first time to anyone out loud. Cadence was nice and he was going to lose her because he was an asshole, but he wasn’t going to keep lying to her either.

  “Thaaaassss so niiiice. Yer niiiice. You need a nicccee lady. Maybe I’ll go back to the site and see if anybody new is there. If you got lucky, then I can toooo,” he slurred as he weaved his way back toward the tables near the bathrooms.

  Collin threw some money on the bar and ran a hand over his stubbled chin. He’d gotten lucky, all right.

  The problem was, he was pretty sure Cadence wouldn’t feel the same way.

  Chapter Seven

  The moon hung low in the sky, full like the ripe belly of an expectant mother, pale and the color of softly whipped butter. It played hide and seek behind the clouds, airy and grey against the black sky. Tomorrow it would be full and Cadence had no plans as to what to do next.

  She couldn’t keep floating along in this limbo, kidding herself into believing Collin would accept her lies and move on as though she could be considered trustworthy. He’d probably never speak to her again and it made her stomach turn.

  How did you do that? Tell someone that nearly every word out of your mouth since you’d met was a lie?

  I am not a werewolf, Collin.

  I do not like my steak rare.

  I like O negative and I have incisors the size of shark’s teeth. Fangs, if you will.

  But on the plus side -- I do really dig the moon. It’s pretty. Nighttime is my thang.

  Oh, punkin’, don’t stress. I could always fly beside you while you run beneath the moon…

  It wasn’t as if she was telling him she was once a man…

  This was not helping. What she was doing -- had been doing for almost a month now -- was lying.

  She had to tell Collin and she had to tell him tonight.

  Strangely, Collin hadn’t said a word about the moon when he opened the door to Cadence and she had taken the opportunity to distract him, even if it was just for a little while by doing what they did almost as well as they conversed.

  Boink.

  This would more than likely be their last night together.

  Unless, of course, a miracle occurred and Collin was sidetracked by something like the parting of the Red Sea. Unlikely, but there was that thing called hope and something eternal springing up that she could latch onto.

  Nevertheless, she intended to make the most of what would likely be the end of the best thing that had happened to her in centuries.

  A tear stung her eye, but she was determined to tell him tonight and let the chips fall where they may, but not before she treasured every last moment with him.

  She’d cut off any more thought and dove into the task at hand. Now, as their kiss lingered, growing more heated, and their tongues tangled, dipping into one another’s mouths, she fought her fear. Cadence caressed his throbbing cock, stroking the satin of it with firm passes of her hand.

  Collin stirred against her, thrusting his hard body to hers and cupping her breasts with hands that were forceful and gentle all at once.

  He was right, they never finished a movie. They never even made it off the couch. In fact, they weren’t even on the couch. They were on Collin’s reclining chair. Curled around one another with Cadence draped across his lap. She wormed out of her skirt and slung a thigh over his lap to straddle him.

  Clothes flew in their impatience to feel naked flesh. Cadence sighed as her breasts rubbed against his chest, sprinkled with just a bit of crisp, dark hair. His arms wound around her back and he pulled the tip of a cherry red nipple to his mouth, circling it with his tongue and capturing it between his lips.

  Her groan overrode the noise from the television as Collin slid between her thighs, leaving her clinging to the back of the recliner while he slinked his way between her legs and parted the wet flesh of her cunt.

  His tongue slipped into her, stroking the swollen nub of her clit, evoking small moans of pleasure from her lips. Cadence rocked her hips against the smooth, silken glide of his mouth, letting his tongue fuck her, devour her. Tendrils of heat swept her pussy when he cupped her breasts, thumbing her nipples.

  His hair, dark against her belly, was reason enough for Cadence to cradle him to her and she did so with writhing hips, crying out when she came.

  Collin wasted no time sitting back up, pulling her down to him and simply unzipping his pants to free his hard cock. He settled her on it with a groan against her neck and soon, they were driving against one another. His hips crashed upward in short, rapid strokes. Cadence gripped him inside her, clamping around him and squeezing his hard, silken length.

  Collin’s cock pulsed within her, driving deeply, his abdomen scraping her clit when she leaned into him, absorbing the sensuous rhythm they rode.

  Gripping his shoulders, Cadence leaned back, letting the sheer invasion of him take over.

  “I can’t wait anymore, baby. Come with me, Cadence,” he demanded, hotly against her ear.

  His words skittered along her spine and into her ear, decadent, forbidden and carnal. Cadence howled in response, clinging to Collin. Her orgasm clawing at her until she could no longer stave it off. It was powerful in its force, deeply rooted and roaring in a tidal wave of pleasure.

  They came together and Collin held her with arms that were tense, rigid, quivering. Sweat had gathered between them and Cadence stroked her hand over his brow, rocking with him to a beat only the two of them could feel. Tears threatened again when she considered what she had to do. Holding him tight to her, she took a shaky breath and prayed for the words she’d need to convince him that despite their differences, they belonged together.

  It wasn’t impossible.

  Nothing was impossible.

  Cadence had to wonder who’d said that. Someone who’d obviously not tried to pretend she was a werewolf.

  “Wow,” Collin said, pressed to her chest.

  She smiled against the top of his head. “Indeed.”

  Gripping her ass, he kissed her and chuckled. “I think you like me.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Oh, there’s no maybe about it. It’s a definite.”

  “You like me more.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Oh, you do too.”

  His eyes lifted and held hers. The blue of them grew serious and Cadence couldn’t quite pinpoint what was next. “Yeah, I do too and I’d like to talk about that if you don’t mind.”

  Hoo boy, here it came. Full moon talk. Cadence gulped and decided naked probably wouldn’t be the best way to tell him she was a vampire… “I don’t mind at all, but can we clean up first?”

  Kissing the tip of her nose he agreed with a “You got it. I’m going to go dig for a sweatshirt. It’s cold tonight. Are you cold?”

  No, I’m a liar. OY. “No, I’m fine. Go change and I’m going to wash up.”

  He slid out from beneath her and headed toward his bedroom. “You k
now, baby, your skin is always so cool. I would think you were always cold, but you never complain.”

  Cadence might laugh if the circumstances were different. No, she wasn’t ever cold, even in the dead of a Wisconsin winter. Because she was a vampire. Not a living, breathing, warm-blooded werewolf. She gripped the edge of the sink for stability.

  Oh, this sucked big, fat weenies, but there was nothing left to do. She had to come clean.

  Tonight.

  Now.

  Cadence remained immobile.

  Now means put some lead in it, vampire.

  She made her way back out to the living room on legs that trembled, with a lump lodged thickly in her throat. She found Collin in the kitchen, rooting around in the fridge.

  “I’m going to get a beer. You want one?”

  Cadence didn’t answer. What was on the television had riveted her and she dug in the recliner to find the remote, turning up the volume.

  It was Collin.

  On TV.

  A bit younger, his hair shorter and more conservative, but that was her Collin.

  A voice was narrating a sort of “Where are they now” documentary bit and the announcer posed a question -- where is ace reporter Collin Grayson now?

  Cadence cocked her head. He was right here in Milwaukee was where he was. Right here in a shitty apartment with his sort of, but not official, girlfriend and, well, it would seem, Collin had some splainin’ to do.

  Cadence turned the volume up even louder and when she did, she listened in utter astonishment to the speculation about what Collin had been up to since some big story he’d botched had ruined his credibility.

  Apparently, at one time, he’d been a pretty noteworthy guy.

  Well, huh.

  Her confusion grew and so did her anxieties. Were werewolves big-shot reporters on television? It was her experience that most shifters had low-key jobs that kept them out of the limelight. Her job was fairly public, but no one saw her on television everyday. They heard her voice and nothing more. When her show was over, she drove home from her job in the dead of night. No one but the station’s owners knew what her real name was. She was CC of the Nocturnal Journals and that was essentially that.