Accidentally Ever After (Accidentally Paranormal Novel Book 11) Read online

  Yep. Worst fear realized. But she was determined to take this new information in stride, too, right along with everything else. “So how do we get you blood?”

  Her face changed again, darkening with worry. “I don’t know. I don’t do human or animal blood. We drink this synthetic shit my husband’s clan provides. One taste of the wrong blood and it could fuck everything up.”

  “So you’re an eco-conscious vampire?”

  “No. I’m one who doesn’t want to turn into a raving lunatic and commit mass homicide. Real blood does weird shit to a vampire. It can make you lust for the genuine article all the time, and that’s how you lose control and start taking bitches out—or innocents, as we call them. My clan is determined to live with humans—which is a good thing for you. Now quit yakking and go make nice with Flawless. He’s all pouty after your argument last night.”

  Toni looked down at the ground, her next words not a question but a statement. “You heard us.”

  “The Adirondacks heard you two. I’m a vampire. Super-speed, super-strength, super-hearing.”

  Guilt washed over her. Could Nina die if she didn’t do this feed thing? She was still learning the particulars of this undead stuff, but the more she heard, the more it was becoming just like a movie.

  Toni latched on to her arm, trying to slow her. “You’re out here because of me. I want to help. Tell me what I can do, Nina.”

  “Got a spare vein?”

  Toni blanched, looking helplessly to Marty. “Is that what it takes?”

  Marty patted Toni on the back with one hand, using the other to tuck a long lock of her blonde hair back into the massive cone it had become. “It’s going to be all right. Jon says he knows a fairy who can turn water into wine—maybe she can do the same with blood. We’ll figure it out. Promise.”

  Everyone was always so calm, so “oh, it’ll all be fine. We got this”. But now, this woman could die or turn to ashes or whatever vampires did when their undead lives were over and it was all because of Toni’s mistake. She couldn’t live with that. Not after everything else she already lived with. No more death.

  As they traveled north toward the castle, the terrain had become hillier, rougher; her feet ached and her back was killing her. It was a stark reminder to do more cardio when she got back to Jersey.

  Dannan again took the front, with Jon a mere two strides behind him, leading his horse Oliver on foot. Nina chatted with Dannan like they were old friends. She said he reminded her of her demon friend Darnell back in Staten Island.

  As opposed to she and Jon who had spoken nary a word this morning as they’d packed up their camp and began the next leg of their journey. His jaw was rigid, his eyes focused on the road ahead, totally avoiding her.

  Toni had stayed as far back in the lineup as she could, forcing her eyes to look anywhere but at his tight butt and his broad back. In all fairness, she’d overreacted to his question about her parents. She wanted to say as much and apologize, but maybe it was better if he was angry with her rather than his usual friendly self.

  If they didn’t speak, he couldn’t ask any more questions she wasn’t willing to answer.

  As morning turned to mid-afternoon and they approached this bridge Jon had spoken of, set far off in the distance beyond a tangle of vines, he held up a long arm and waved them toward him.

  As they gathered around, he pointed to a thicker portion of the woods, the entry clotted with dark trees making the shape of an oval. Jon’s skin was ruddy from the cold, his eyes stoic as he spoke. “This is the Garden of Wings, fairies dwell here. We must forge through their playground in order to reach the bridge before late afternoon. Be warned, maidens, fairies are known for their playful though harmless pranks, but the queen’s henchmen are my true worry. They often hide in the thick of the gardens, attempting to snatch the winged goblins and wring their powers from them or force them to guide their black souls to the mines, where gold is allegedly hidden. You must beware. If there’s a price on Toni’s head, they’ll be especially keen today.”

  Nina rolled her shoulders and lifted her chin. “Just might get that blood sooner than we thought.”

  “Aye, maiden. Shall I carry ye? I am happy to do so,” Dannan asked.

  Nina shook her head with a slow smile. “Nah, Papa Smurf, I got this.”

  Jon planted a hand on Nina’s shoulder. “Do not tax yourself, maiden. This portion of our journey can’t be avoided if we’re to find what you need and the proper nourishment you require from the Blue Fairy, Elessandra. I would ask that you all stay close and ignore the whispers of the trees the henchman hide in. Their voices can grow loud and drive you to madness, but they seek only to steal your mind and cannot be trusted.”

  Why talking trees surprised her after riding on the back of a dragon was a mystery, but it was like an aftershock now rather than a full-on earthquake of crazy. Still, Toni was determined to see that Nina got what she needed. She wouldn’t be here if not for her random wish. She’d keep that in the forefront of all future endeavors.

  Rolling up the long sleeves of her gown, Toni merely nodded and began to follow Dannan and the others into the garden, only to have Jon stop her by capturing her wrist.

  “I mean what I say, Toni. You, especially, must take great care.”

  “Is this because of yesterday? Are you going to remind me how easily I was roped in by a cup of coffee forever? I told you just like I told everyone else—I don’t know why I got on the dragon. It was instinct or something I can’t explain. I can promise you, if I’d had all my wits about me, I would have never climbed on the back of a dragon. I’m not an idiot.”

  “Then you must curb your foolish impulses.”

  Foolish? The nerve. But she knew how to shut up when there were more pressing matters.

  So Toni gave him the blankest stare she could summon and pulled her wrist from his grasp. “I get it. You’re in charge. No dragon-slaying for the foolish salesgirl today.”

  The corner of his luscious mouth lifted ever so slightly in time with one raven eyebrow. “The fair maiden doth have ears.”

  “She also doth have a fist, which she’ll gladly shove down your throat if you don’t lay off thee, or ye, or me, or whatever. Now let’s go ignore some henchman and trees.” With that, she turned and marched toward the entry to the Garden of Wings, hopping over the scratchy sting of the thorny tangled vines at the opening with Jon’s soft chuckle ringing in her ears.

  * * * *

  “Oh dear,” Wanda murmured, her eyes scanning the landscape of the garden.

  Yeahhh. Toni nodded without realizing it as they took their first glance around the Garden of Wings.

  “My God, girls. It’s magical. Like every childhood dream realized. Imagine the selfies to be had here,” Marty whispered on a breathy sigh as a blinking blue light whizzed past her head.

  All around them multicolored lights dotted the interior of the garden, buzzing and zipping in and out of the foliage of the woods.

  “Fairies?” she whispered to Jon in utter awe.

  He leaned into her, pressing his lips to her ear and making her shiver. “Indeed, milady. Beautiful, yes?”

  Toni nodded, feeling suddenly serene as she allowed her body to lean into Jon’s harder one. “So beautiful,” she murmured, her stomach doing somersaults at Jon’s touch.

  These trees, while covered in snow like the rest of the forest, still had leaves on them—leaves in the shape of hearts in ice blue, stringing across the long, bent branches and spilling from the tops of their tall peaks like fountains shooting water. The ice forming on each heart-shaped leaf was crystallized and shimmering as though they’d been dunked in white sugar.

  Stumps covered in the greenest moss she’d ever seen were grouped together like small tables, and miniature tea sets sat upon them, the tiny teacups half full. Purple wisteria wound around tree trunks in a riot of endless flowers, draping and swaying in the suddenly very humid air.

  Cottages with thatched roofs and circular d
oors hung like small Chinese lanterns throughout tall oaks with pink and purple leaves, threading their way around the perimeter of the path they took.

  And all along the path as they walked, tiny voices much like Dannan’s twittered, the staccato cadence fluttering and quick.

  That was when she heard her name, a rhythmic, almost tribal beat, “Toni,Toni,Toni!”

  “Keep walking, Dragon Slayer,” Nina coaxed from behind, poking a knuckle between Toni’s shoulder blades.

  “You hear it, too?” she asked as sweat beaded her upper lip.

  “I hear it. I hear everything these fucks are saying because—vampire.”

  Toni nodded, forcing herself to keep her feet moving, trying with every last ounce of will to ignore the merciless chant of her name. But the throb in her head grew, almost hurting.

  Carl came up from the rear and nudged her with his antlers, nudging her to keep her feet moving, rubbing his nose against her hand as a reminder to push past this.

  “You can do this, Toni!” Jon whisper-yelled in her ear, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close. “You must, or succumb to the madness. We’re almost at Elessandra’s.”

  Briefly, she wondered why no one else appeared affected by the buzz of the fairies or the whisper of the trees, but the maddening hum of their voices distracted her.

  Sweat began to pool between her breasts as the fairies circled her head, calling to her, singing her name, inviting her to partake in their mayhem.

  But it was the whispers of the trees that haunted her. “Everyone knows, Toni. They know. They know what you’ve done. They know!”

  Still, she fought to press forward, the shoes like weights at the end of her ankles, her head light and heavy at the same time. Dannan’s feet plodded forward, the thump of their heavy slaps against the earth now mingling with the taunts, becoming a drumbeat, a canvass for the whispers.

  Each step became like a walk in quicksand until Marty pulled up from the rear and took her other arm. “Sing with me, honey. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. We should be singing carols! Wanda, you start.”

  “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose!” Wanda crooned, her voice cracking.

  “Who is this Rudolph? Reindeer most certainly do not have shiny noses,” Jon protested, looking at Marty as though she’d sprouted another head.

  Toni’s breathing became ragged as the humid air stuck in her throat, but she was determined to focus on anything but the suggestions being whispered in her ear.

  “He’s a kids’ story back in my land. He’s an outcast. The other reindeer make fun of him because of his nose. They’re mean assholes. He leaves Santa’s camp—or something, and then he runs into Bigfoot—“

  “The Abominable Snowman,” Nina corrected on an amused chuckle.

  “Right and then…shit happens. A lot of shit…” She gritted her teeth because she couldn’t remember the rest of the damn story for the noise in her head.

  The bluebirds hopped on her shoulders, all six of them, chirping the tune right along with Marty.

  Now Nina came up behind her and gripped her shoulder, her long fingers pressing into Toni’s skin. “Then one foggy Christmas Eve…” she belted out directly in Toni’s ear. “Sing, kiddo. Sing with me. Focus and we’ll do this together.”

  The landscape became a blur of muted lights and fuzzy shades of haunting limbs, all looking to snatch her up with crystallized talons.

  “Just hear those sleigh bells ring-a-ling, ring-ting-ting-a-ling too…” Marty’s cheerful voice faded, the grip of her hand on Toni’s arm feeling farther and farther away.

  Until she was entirely alone.

  The world around her began to spin, twisting and turning even as she stood stock still.

  And then as quickly as it began, it stopped.

  Abruptly, she was standing in a meadow, tall stalks of lavender and sunflowers rocked to the rhythm of a warm breeze. Toni lifted her face and inhaled. It was just like the meadow behind her grandmother’s back in Idaho.

  No. No it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. Remember the words of warning Jon spoke, Toni. Things are not always as they appear.

  Right. So she wasn’t really at her grandmother’s house with the porch swing and her old beagle, Tootsie, lying at Toni’s feet. She was in a fairy garden with bad, bad dudes who wanted to trick her so they could drag her off to this queen to get something from her she didn’t understand.

  Shaking her head, she tried to dispel the image in front of her, but there was no purging it. The sky grew a brighter blue, the clouds somehow puffier, the breeze warmer, the flowers more colorful. As though someone was using a lens to bring everything into focus. And then her brother Cormac was there, waving her toward him, smiling, happy to see her—above all, safe.

  God, he looked so good. So handsome and tall, his strong features serene.

  It was then her heart constricted. It had been three long years since they’d said goodbye, and she missed him so much she almost dropped to her knees.

  He waved again, the sun catching the glint of the ring on his finger.

  No, Toni. That’s not your brother. Remember what Stas did to his ring finger? This illusion has all its fingers.

  Run, Toni! Run far, as fast as you can! her instincts screamed.

  But run to where? She swirled around, almost tripping on the length of her dress. Dropping the pelt from around her shoulders, she grabbed the ends of her skirt and raced away from the image of her brother, ran until her feet were bloody and the shoes pinched her bridges so hard she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from yelping her pain.

  Tears stung her eyes as the scenery whizzed past her and then the voices returned, but they were no longer courting her like a lover, they were screaming her name.

  Toni! Toni! Toni! We know what you did! You ruined your brother’s life!

  The wind began to howl once again, tearing at her dress, whistling through the length of her hair, and still she ran harder.

  As she flew from the pounding in her head, the panic racing through her veins, she stumbled and tripped over a stump, hidden in the meadow’s floor, tumbling end over end until she slammed into something hard.

  A grunt of pain ripped from her throat, now raw as she gasped for breath, and she forced herself up on the palms of her hands and looked around to assess where she’d landed.

  A fluttery, soft hand reached out and caressed her cheek, comforting and gentle. “Poor Toni. Are you lost again? Come with me, I’ll take you to your friends,” the small voice murmured, light and airy.

  A fairy. She was staring at an honest-to-goodness fairy, her gossamer eggshell-colored wings twittering in the air. Her dress was made of the tiniest of feathers in green and blue, just brushing the tops of her thighs, and a halo of gold surrounded her head.

  Her tiny hands held out to Toni, she said again, “Come. I’ll take you to your friends, but we have to hurry!”

  Aw, hell no. She wasn’t going to end up fooled again. She’d never live down the Great Starbucks Incident of 2015, but by God, there’d be no more stupid on her behalf.

  So she decided to take Jon’s tact—the fearless, angry-warrior one.

  Driving herself to her feet, Toni stomped her foot and demanded, “Reveal yourself or face the wrath of my…”

  Her what? She didn’t have a sword like Jon—or even a weapon, for that matter. This had gone much better when Jon made the threats.

  “Forget I said that. Just tell me who you are and what you want!”

  The fairy laughed, twitching her miniature toes in time with her wings. “Nothing more than your safety, Toni. Now hurry, come with me!”

  “Um, no. Not gonna happen. You crazy bunch of Shamalotians have fooled me once. That won’t happen again. I nearly ended up flatter than a pancake the last time I gave in to temptation. I’ll just wait right here, thanks.”

  The fairy looked confused, her ethereal face strained. “But your friends are waiting. They’re just over the
re. See?” She looked over her shoulder and pointed with a sweet smile.

  Yep. They sure were. With an exception: This particular manifestation of Nina lacked one thing—the bluebirds who’d been her constant companions since they’d started. They weren’t on Carl’s back either.

  Toni sauntered close to the fairy and snatched her up by her wings, holding her with thumb and forefinger. “Liar. If you guys are going to conjure up hallucinations, at least pay attention to the details and get it right. So, who are you and what does your boss want from me?” Toni demanded, giving the fairy a light shake.

  The fairy pouted up at her, her wee features distorting. “I’m just trying to help you, Toni,” she said as though she were hurt, her voice rising.

  Toni made a face at the fairy. “Enough with the bullshit stories? Who are you and what do you want?”

  Just as she asked the question, her fingers exploded apart, the fairy escaping her grasp and flitting off to the distance, where she morphed, shedding her small body in favor of a much larger mirror image, growing, rippling back and forth in the wind that had now turned bitterly cold.

  With the swift prowess of a ninja, the fairy made a fist, creating a ball of fire she made dance in her palm. Then she lobbed it forward, the screaming orange-and-blue flame coming straight for Toni.

  In that moment, Toni’s body responded in much the way it had when the dragon had appeared. Her feet began to tingle, growing warmer by the second, and her hands arced upward, effectively catching the flame and hurling it back at the fairy with a harsh grunt.

  And again, for the briefest moment, her mind said, shut the front door! You just caught a fireball, dude.

  But her body wasn’t satisfied with just catching the fireball, her body wanted to catch this menace and make her talk—make her admit she’d been sent by this effed-up queen.

  And then she remembered something. Something important.

  She could breathe fire.

  Hah!

  Closing her eyes, Toni inhaled deeply, summoning up the visual of the night before when she’d started the campfire, and then she recalled Nina’s words—just breathe.

  That familiar acrid taste in her throat returned, rising up in a wave of bile just before she blew a hot stream of fire in the direction of the fairy, swishing her head left to right to spray her foe.