Accidentally Dead Read online

  Greg had looked for Lisanne? Nina didn’t know what to think. “You really did look for her for me?” Nina’s voice grew soft.

  Greg’s eyes held hers for a moment. “I did.”

  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. All the girly, mushy shit Marty talked about when she spoke of Keegan flooded her chest, and to make matters worse, she’d beat him up every chance she could by accusing him of wanting to keep her a vampire. “Well, fuck, Greg. Why didn’t you just tell me? Do you have any idea at all the war you could have saved me over you?”

  He cocked an eyebrow of disbelief at her. “Uh, let’s be honest here, honey. No one can tell you anything, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to find her anyway. I didn’t want to get your hopes up. Then I doubted you’d believe me anyway, because, you know, the evil plot to rule the world thing. Plus, I knew she’d show up eventually because—”

  “I hate to break up this sweet exchange, but here’s the scoop. There is no turning back. Ever,” Lisanne interrupted with impatience. The look of hatred she sent flying Nina’s way was übercreepy, überaggravated.

  Stunned, Nina gripped Greg’s wrist to keep from getting all up in Lisanne’s shit and potentially losing a limb that with her luck, even being a vampire, wouldn’t grow back.

  Greg leaned down and whispered in her ear almost smugly. “I did tell you, honey.” He squeezed her hand to soften his neener, neener.

  “The fuck you say!” Nina bellowed.

  Lisanne cast an even more bored than she was before look at Greg. “I have little time to waste with your new plaything, Gregori. I’ll say this just once and slowly in case you’re troubled by so many words at the same time, uh, Nina, is it? There is no turning back. None. I have no magical powers to give you back your mortality, and neither does any other vampire here on planet Earth that I’ve ever run into. Understand?”

  “You’re a liar,” Nina rebutted. There had to be a way. She’d read it, and even if Greg didn’t want to keep her a vampire, from the impression she got of this Lisanne chick, she definitely would. She clearly had no qualms about turning people, because she’d turned Greg.

  “Oh, I’m many things, darling, but I’m not lying about this.” She waved a hand in Nina’s direction, dismissing her and turning to Greg. “Now tell your sleepover date it’s time to go home. We have business to discuss?”

  Business? Didn’t Greg say he’d left Lisanne’s clan because he didn’t like her? Or something like that? Why would they have anything to discuss? Suspicion reared its ugly head again. Just when she’d thought it was safe to believe Greg was a decent guy.

  The clench of his jaw tightened. “The hell I have anything to discuss with you, Lisanne.”

  Better, much better. Cool disdain on Greg’s behalf made Nina feel muuuuch better. Okay, maybe he was still a decent guy.

  “We have plenty to discuss, Gregori. It’s business. Your birthday’s in a week.”

  “I’ve made my position clear to you, Lisanne. There’s nothing to discuss.”

  Nina couldn’t take any more. “What kind of business are you discussing?”

  “Marriage business,” Lisanne said snidely.

  Um, whoa. Nina tilted her head back at Greg and gave him the “look.” “Um, your turn, honey.”

  Greg rolled his tongue along the inside of his cheek. “It’s not open for discussion, Lisanne. It’s not going to happen.”

  Nina fidgeted. “What’s not going to happen?”

  “Gregori foolishly believes he won’t have to marry me.”

  Nina whipped a hand into the air. “Yo, hold up, you loons. You’re supposed to marry her? Her?” Oy and vey. “You said you didn’t have a girlfriend! This is your fiancée? You piece of shit!”

  “I don’t have a girlfriend, honey, or a fiancée.”

  “But you just said you had to marry her!”

  Greg’s face held contempt, bitter and rife. “On my five-hundredth birthday. Yep, that’s the plan. All part of the crazy mystical, magical life of a vampire.”

  Christ on a cracker. “And the reason for these nuptials?”

  “If I don’t marry her, I’ll turn to dust.”

  Niiiice vampiric touch. Dust. All these threats all the time. So unattractive in a clan. “Uh, why?”

  He shrugged his shoulders as if it didn’t matter—like this was no big deal. “It’s a vampire law, passed down for centuries. When you reach your five-hundredth birthday, if you’re not already mated, you must mate with a female from your bloodline or mate with your sire. That is, if your sire isn’t already mated. As you well know, Lisanne is my female sire—or my creator, so to speak—and I don’t like anyone in my bloodline well enough to marry them. But there is package B, option C—I can mate with someone I’ve created, and we both know you’re the only one I’ve done that to.”

  Lawd, did she ever. Nina’s level of astonishment was matched only by the archaic bullshit of these clan rules. Funny how’d he’d forgotten to mention this little detail when he’d said there were rules to being a vampire.

  “How did she get to be so old,” emphasis on old purposeful, “and not have a mate? You can’t be the oldest vampire in her kooky clan, and she definitely looks older than you.” Nina shot a snide wink in Lisanne’s direction. She didn’t know how long Lisanne had been around when she’d turned Greg, but she’d definitely been a vampire longer than him.

  “No, I’m definitely not the oldest, but everyone else has mated. I’m the only one who’s turning five hundred in a week, though.”

  Hold the fuck on. “So you never found a single female in your bloodline you wanted to mate with enough to keep from turning to dust?”

  “Um, nope.”

  Nina smiled, wide and proud, but that smile turned to worry. “And you’re telling me Lisanne’s never had to live by the same rules? What kind of shit is that? If she’s like old hag vampire, shouldn’t she have found someone to mate with by now, too?”

  One eyebrow rose in clear contempt. “Ahh, Lisanne’s had several mates who went the way of the dinosaur with no explanation, and as time passed, and two more people took themselves out of the running, my luck has apparently run out.”

  This was insane, infuriating, bloody fucking bananas! “Who in theee fuck makes this shit up? What kind of rule is that—having to marry someone when you’re five hundred? Why not five hundred and one, and how do you know you’ll turn to dust?”

  “Oh, I’ve seen it. On two occasions. Both involving Lisanne,” Greg said, giving Lisanne a cold, smug glare.

  “Who cares who you friggin’ marry?”

  “Apparently, whoever cosmically rules a vampire’s existence. If we don’t mate, thus keeping our clans tight-knit and ever-strong, we turn to dust. Our powers combined keep us safe from those who want to harm us. I did tell you there are those who want to harm us. For whatever reason, vampires are much stronger mated. We sort of infuse each other with our powers. By the time you’re five hundred, if you’ve learned your vampire lessons well, you’ve honed your skills, and you’re one bad-assed force to be reckoned with.” His hands came up to push the tangle of her hair from her shoulder.

  “I’m next up on the chopping block. I’d really hoped this guy named Gus would end up Lisanne’s mate, but he opted out at the last minute. Something about he’d rather be staked in broad daylight and strung up with ropes of garlic. To which I say, go figure.” He directed the last to Lisanne, who narrowed her eyes to slits at him.

  Nina’s mouth dropped open.

  Greg cupped her jaw, rubbing his thumb over her lips. “You met me at a really unfortunate time, Nina. I was going to try to tell you that last night, but, well, things got a little out of hand.”

  Warmth wisped over her, despite this crisis. For real.

  Nina thought frantically back to something Marty had told her. Marty’d had a similar experience, because Keegan had refused to mate with some viper named Alana, but they’d only threatened to boot him from the pack, not annihilate him. Jesus.

  Lisan
ne wedged her way between Nina and Greg, planting her back squarely in Nina’s face. “So, darling, any special requests for our pending nuptials? Any particular vampire you wish to be present to witness our mating?”

  Nina tapped her on the shoulder. “Hold on there, you vampire eater.” Her eyes sought Greg’s, hoping he’d go along with her. “Did I hear right when I heard you say you could mate with someone you’d created?”

  She caught his glimpse of confusion and sent him a message with her eyes that said shut up. His answer was slow. “You did.”

  Nina brushed her hands together. “Aha! Then I’m your girl.” She craned her neck around Lisanne’s shoulder to address her. “So then, Lisanne of the extinct husbands, you can hit the road, sistah.”

  Nina felt the fury seeping from Lisanne’s pores, oozing in angry waves. “I’m sorry?”

  “Oh, you’re definitely sorry, you power-hungry bitch. I’m your girl, Greg. I’ll marr—er, mate with you.” Pick me, pick me.

  He gave her a warning glance followed by the tone. “Nina…”

  “What? You just said you could marry someone you’d created, and I’m the only one you’ve done that to. So Lisanne, who can’t turn me back into a human, can go home now.” The turning to dust thing was far outweighing her mortality troubles, and why that was, she couldn’t say. She only knew there was no way, not even if she were presented with the ability to again eat chicken wings until she puked, that she’d let Greg turn to dust—or mate with this viper.

  Nope.

  Lisanne pivoted on her wedged heels. “You’d mate with this?” She thumbed a finger at Nina.

  Nina snapped. Fury, anger, pride, fear for Greg, and resentment for this woman, who’d begun all this trouble in the first place, bubbled to the surface in hot lumps. All of a sudden the possibility that Greg might not be around after next week left her feeling emotionally empty. I mean, who’d torture her to feed? Who’d yell right back at her when she went off? He’d looked for this dried-up, bitter bitch knowing—knowing what he had to do come next week. That he’d become food for a Swiffer was out of the question.

  She gave Lisanne’s shoulder a shove. “’K, here’s the deal, you heifer. Greg’s mating with me, not you. So go on back to your bat cave. You’re not needed,” she said between clenched teeth, tightening the sheet around her chest in case things went like that. Violent and all.

  Greg’s hands went to her shoulders, gripping them. “Stop, Nina.”

  “Don’t you tell me to stop, Gregori Statleon! I’m not afraid of her, and I’ll be fucked and feathered if I’ll let her come in here like this and throw her weight around. He’s mine, honey. So back off, and you,” she turned and pointed a finger at Greg’s chest, “just shut the flip up.” Then she planted a kiss on his lips to silence him, softening her harsh words.

  “Oh, Nina,” Lisanne chided, clucking her tongue. “You should be very afraid, but I’ll leave you two to duke it out, because I’m sooo over this. Gregori? I’ll see you in a week. Nina? Good luck with the crazy notion that I’ll let you anywhere near Greg.” And poof, Lisanne disappeared without another word, her cute round ass, poured into her hip-hugging shorts, gone, just like that.

  Nina sank to the edge of the bed, trembling from the tension in her limbs. Greg sat beside her. She gave him a narrowed, angry look, flicking his arm with two fingers. “Do ya think maybe telling me this sooner would have been a good thing? What the hell is the matter with you? How could you not tell me something this important? I thought you were trying to keep me from her for evil intent, you pain in my ass. Were you just going to disappear without a trace and not say a word? What kind of load of shit is that?”

  Greg gave her a sheepish grin. “I didn’t think you’d miss me. You are the one who tells me to go away at regular intervals, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, that’s me. But I don’t want you to go away forev…” Oy. Shut the fuck up, Nina.

  He rubbed his shoulder against hers in a circular motion. “That’s nice to almost hear,” he teased.

  Nina laughed, despite her deep fear for him. “Okay, so all we have to do is what? Mate on your birthday, right?”

  Greg brushed her hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Honey, I’m not going to let you do that.”

  She brushed his hand away in irritation. “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do. I owe you. You were there for Lou. I can’t think of anyone besides me who would have done what you were prepared to do, whether you did it or not. We’re mating, and that’s final.”

  “You owe me nothing, Nina, and you have no idea what the mating ritual means. None.”

  Her look was pensive. “It’s going to hurt, yes?” She winced.

  “No, honey, it doesn’t hurt.”

  “You’ve seen it?’

  “Yep. It doesn’t even sting.”

  “Then what’s the problem? Let’s do this, unless you dig the idea that you’ll be food for a Hoover.”

  He took her hands in his, entwining their fingers. “Honey, listen closely. If we mate at midnight on the night of my birth, we’ll be mated for life. This entails many rules as well.”

  Fan-fucking-tastic. More rules. “Why is it that you people have so many rules that involve dust and death? Everything is so damned dire—so final all the time. Whatever happened to simple stuff like thou shalt not lie? So much less dismal than marrying someone you don’t want to marry.”

  “Listen to me, Nina—it is what it is, and nothing changes it. The mating ritual is very serious. It means you’ll never be able to mate with anyone else, as in, have sex with another person, ever, or you risk the chance you’ll be shunned. Trust this vampire when I tell you, you never want to be shunned. To be sent out into the world without any kind of vampiric support is beyond harsh, due to the fact that we rely on each other heavily for many resources. And by the way, the impulsive ‘no one gets the best of me’ twit that you are needs to remember one thing.”

  “Which is?”

  “Vampires, barring garlic, crucifixes, lack of blood, and wooden stakes through the heart, live forever.”

  There was that final thing again. Everything was always so flippin’ final with these paranormals. So she’d have to mate with Greg for who knew how long if she went through with this. She could live into the next millennium and beyond.

  Now that was commitment.

  Dude.

  “LISANNE!” Svetlanna shrieked, grabbing her by the arm and whipping her around to face her. The cold mask of fury Svetlanna wore was only a fraction of the hatred she had for Lisanne. “I’ll see you in Hell before I’ll let you force Greg to mate with you!”

  Lisanne threw her head back and laughed. “I think we both know how foolish that notion is,” she hissed, pulling her arm from Svetlanna’s grasp. “Are you forgetting the last time we did this, Svetlanna? As I recall, the circumstances were rather similar.”

  Her expression grew pained. Svetlanna remembered all too well. As if it had happened just yesterday. They’d gathered at Gregori’s family’s home to celebrate her pending nuptials to Greg’s uncle Aiden.

  God, she’d loved Aiden. Even now, mated as she was to someone she loved just as much, the memory of that horrific, scream-filled night still haunted her.

  Aiden and Lisanne had been a couple for a time. When he’d met Svetlanna and they’d fallen deeply in love, he’d broken off his affair with Lisanne, though Aiden had been unaware of Lisanne’s vampiric origins. None of them had been aware until it was too late.

  Lisanne had gotten wind of Svetlanna and Aiden’s engagement, and no one left Lisanne. No one. She did the leaving, if Svetlanna remembered her final words correctly. She’d been so infuriated by their potential union, she’d stormed Greg’s home during the celebratory dinner in a raging, screaming fit of maniacal, bloody hysteria.

  Almost no one had survived that night. Lisanne had drained Greg’s mother, father and sister dry. That Greg had survived the turning was only because of carelessness on Lisanne’s
part—that and she thought he was pretty.

  Aiden was left in a crumpled heap at Svetlanna’s feet, lifeless and cold. But Lisanne’s plan for Svetlanna was to make her suffer for eternity, because she’d taken Aiden from her. Instead of killing her, she’d turned Svetlanna, and thus, her and Greg’s journey as vampires had begun.

  They’d picked up the pieces, fought hard against the rules of Lisanne’s bloodthirsty clan, and found others like them. Others who were doomed to roam the Earth for eternity, but refused to participate in Lisanne’s deadly games.

  Svetlanna’s anger boiled. “I’ll kill you myself,” she seethed, gritting the words out between tight lips.

  Lisanne smiled wickedly, so self-assured, so blatantly pompous. “Um, sure. You get right on that. In the meantime, I’ll plan our coming mating. Don’t you see, you fool? It doesn’t matter what happens to me, Svetlanna. The end to Greg’s immortality is imminent, whether I’m around or not. If he won’t have me, I’ll kill this Nina, and he’ll end up dead anyway. So it seems I’m his best shot at survival.”

  Damn this bitch to Hell for ruining them so thoroughly. The swift rise of her anger caught the better of her, and her hand swiped out to strike Lisanne’s cheek, leaving behind a red-hot slash that quickly faded. “Damn you, Lisanne, I’ll find a way, and when I do, Hell will look like a pretty room at the Four Seasons compared to my hatred for you!”

  Lisanne shook off the blow and smiled once more, sinfully depraved. “Isn’t that exactly what you said about Aiden?” she cooed, then laughed as she disappeared, filling the large foyer with her twisted brand of glee.

  CHAPTER

  15