Accidentally Dead Read online

  “You know, vampire, I’ve been thinking,” Nina said as they left the hospital after a visit with Lou. She was improving with leaps and bounds and was due to be released within the week. Thankfully, Lou’s insurance covered a nurse who’d come in daily and cared for her. Though Lou’d squawked about it, when Greg had insisted she listen to the doctors, her grandmother had melted.

  “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” he said, chuckling and draping an arm around her shoulder. In the past four days, the peace between them had been oddly blissful for Nina. They fed together, hung out, and went to visit Lou every evening. The frenetic threat of Greg’s pending death was always just beneath the surface, though, and the more he refused to mate with her, the more determined she became to make him.

  Tonight she planned to do what she did best. Bully the fuck out of him and bend him to her will. If she knew nothing else, she knew how to bully like Paris Hilton knew hair extensions.

  Nina nudged his side with her elbow. “How can you laugh at a time like this? I can’t find a single thing funny about it. Your head’s on the block, and that you can find anything—anything funny about it is pathetic. Now knock it off and listen. Marty told me when she had all that trouble with Keegan’s pack that they could appeal to a council or something about her and Keegan mating. Why can’t we do that, too?”

  “Because there’s no one to appeal to, Nina. Our higher order is fate. Our laws have been in place since the beginning of time. There is no changing it.”

  She made a face at him, pissed all over again at all of the brick walls they kept crashing into. “There would be if you’d just stop being such a shit and mate with me.” Nina had made up her mind, and if she hadn’t been convinced a couple of days ago that she was willing to do this, she was now. There were pluses to mating with him. Sex with Greg for an eternity couldn’t be such a bad thing. Okay, so they fought a lot, but she’d watch Dr. Phil or some crap—or maybe take anger-management classes at the Y, and it’d be all good.

  Greg stopped along the sidewalk, facing her under the sign for the emergency room. “I can’t let you do that, Nina, and you know why I can’t. You’d be mating with me forever. That’s huge—especially when you have at least four hundred years of freedom due you until you have to even consider it. Besides, I just don’t get the impression you’re the forever type.”

  Nina was aghast. Pot meet kettle. “Oh, and you are? You’ve had four hundred and ninety-nine fucking years to find someone to mate with, and oh, look—no mate. Only a man would spend so little time organizing his eternity the way you have.” God, he was so stubborn.

  And you’re easygoing? Okay, okay, so she could be difficult, but this was his undead-ed-ness they were talking about here.

  Greg pursed his lips. “I just never found someone who interested me enough to risk eternity with, but I can tell you this, I’d rather turn to dust than mate with Lisanne.”

  Nina snorted. Just the thought of her encounter with Lisanne made her want to knock the broad’s pearly whites out one by one. “Yeah, she’s some piece of work, and I can’t blame you for that. What I don’t get is what the big deal is about this mating thing. What happens when you mate for eternity?”

  “It’s a bond. Bloodletting is what we call it. It’s that spiritual stuff again. A witness is present and so on. Not too dissimilar to a human wedding—except there’s no cake.”

  “Is there a Chicken Dance?”

  He barked a laugh. “Uh, no.”

  “The Hokey Pokey?”

  “Nope.”

  “Does it involve the color yellow?”

  His eyes were confused. “Not that I’m aware of.”

  “Cool, then we’re good to go. Let’s do this.”

  “We can’t just do it, honey. The bloodletting has to be done at midnight on the night of a vampire’s five-hundredth birthday. In this case, mine.”

  “I should have known it involved blood. So what’s the deal with it? Is it like being blood brothers?” She remembered the childhood pact and had to laugh if all they had to do was prick their fingers and rub them together in order for the cosmos to consider them mated.

  “No, it’s not quite like that. One or the other drinks from the neck of their intended, thus sealing the mating. Forever.”

  Again with the forever. Her mind took another path suddenly, and she looked up at him with a pensive gaze. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Shoot.”

  “Why did Lisanne turn you?” Nina saw him immediately stiffen, but she deserved an answer. “Don’t go getting all bent on me. I’m asking a legitimate question, and it’s only fair you tell me what happened, so I can grudge on her properly after you’ve turned into a pile of dust in the middle of the living room floor and all.”

  Rolling his head on his neck, he cracked it before speaking. As if just saying the words were difficult. “Lisanne is a spiteful, greedy bitch. Svetlanna became engaged to my uncle shortly after he’d left Lisanne. My uncle Aiden was at my family home, celebrating his and Svetlanna’s engagement when Lisanne found us. She hated Svetlanna and vowed she’d be cursed to roam the Earth without Aiden forever.”

  “So Lisanne turned her to pay her back for what she considered stealing Aiden, but why you, too?”

  She saw him replay the memories of that fateful night in his head and regretted stirring it up again. His look of remorse, the pain that set in his eyes, made her cast her own eyes downward. “I was a casualty of Lisanne’s rage. The engagement party was at my parents’ house. Aiden was my uncle and very close to my father. Lisanne’s fury was like something I’ve never seen in my life. She wiped out everyone and everything in her path. My mother, my father, and my sister—she drained them dry and threw their lifeless bodies on top of one another.” So many emotions flickered through his eyes, there were too many for Nina to count. Rage, grief, horror, all there for her to see.

  “But that still doesn’t explain why she didn’t kill you, too.”

  Greg’s jaw clenched, grinding back and forth before he spoke with disgust in his voice. “She thought I looked like my uncle Aiden. So she decided to keep me around. She called me pretty.”

  Nina shivered in revulsion. “Okay, that’s just creepy. It gives me the willies, and so does Lisanne. Why didn’t you kill her? You’ve been around a long time. Your powers have to at least be close to matching hers, don’t they?”

  “Because then I’d be no better than she is, would I? I began my clan with other vampires who shared my philosophy that we could get by in a human world, minus the bloodshed and abuse of power.”

  All this nobility and integrity. Had it been her, the shit would’ve flown. But then, therein lay the difference between her and Greg. He was a thinker—she was a beat the shit out of them, ask questions later.

  He interrupted her anger on his behalf with, “Promise me something, would you?”

  “Sure.”

  “When I’m gone, stay the hell away from Lisanne. Clayton’ll look out for you. He’s next in line to rule the clan, but I need to hear you tell me you’ll keep that fresh mouth shut where she’s concerned. You have no idea what inciting her will do. And learn, Nina. Learn how to be a vampire. Svetlanna will help, but don’t let pride keep you from asking for help.”

  Her stomach sank. He really didn’t intend to mate with Lisanne, and he wouldn’t even consider her—which hurt. More than she’d like to admit. She teetered between relief that someone as fabulous as Lisanne couldn’t appeal to him because he had morals, and cringing that she herself didn’t appeal to him enough. “I’ll promise you this much, I’ll be very careful. That’s as good as it’s getting. I have a big mouth, and I know it, and sometimes it just can’t be contained. Lisanne pisses me off—and you know how it goes if I’m pissed.”

  His look was grave. “Oh, I know how it goes.”

  “You know, something occurred to me. Svetlanna…isn’t she the same age as you? If you were both turned on the same day, and we’re w
orking with vampire years here, anyway, isn’t she required to mate on her five-hundredth birthday, too?” Cheerist. She didn’t know how she’d help if Svetlanna needed a man. She was all outta single white vampires.

  Greg’s smile was genuine. “Svetlanna did mate. Almost one hundred and ten years ago.”

  So Svetlanna had a man. It comforted Nina to know she’d eventually been able to move on after the vicious death of her fiancé and that there wasn’t another person needing saving. “And where’s he?”

  “He’s in Seattle, working on some rain forest project. Garth’s a good guy and he’s made her very happy. After my uncle Aiden died, she deserved some happiness.”

  “Well, that must have been a big fuck-you to Lisanne, huh?”

  “I suppose, in a way, Svetlanna turned lemons into lemonade, and yeah, I’d guess that pissed Lisanne off. But she was on her third mate by the time Svetlanna and Garth mated. She was otherwise preoccupied driving mere vampires to the brink of insanity.”

  “What happened to all these mates that are supposed to hang around for eternity? Where’d they go?”

  He raised an eyebrow at her. “Would you want to be mated to Lisanne for eternity?”

  ’Nuff said. “Point.”

  They walked in silence a bit farther, Nina chewing on what he’d told her in slow bits. “Did those other vampires before you really opt to turn to dust rather than mate with she-bitch?”

  “Yep, and it was too bad. Like I said, I liked Gus. He was a good guy, and while he was too afraid to leave Lisanne’s clan, he did as little turning as possible. His end saddened us all, but I can relate.”

  “Okay, one more question.”

  He pulled her closer, and she let her head rest on his shoulder while they walked. “Go.”

  “Why won’t you, even just for a second, consider me as your mate? I’m the key to keeping you around. I mean, who’s going to razz the shit out of me and keep me in line if not for you?” she asked as they approached her apartment.

  When they reached her front steps, Greg pulled her into his embrace and hugged her hard, planting a kiss on the top of her head. “We’ve been over this a hundred times in the past four days. Up until just a few days ago you believed I’d turned you because of some malevolent plan to rule the world.”

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slap some cuffs on her, she was guilty of the charge of misconception of a vampire’s intentions, but she didn’t feel that way anymore. She didn’t. She’d been waffling for a while now, but gradually she’d come to believe him. She was a tough sell. She knew it. “I can’t help that I’m suspicious and thick-headed. Sometimes it takes more than the average amount of proof to make me see what’s right in front of me. I jump to sometimes ridiculous conclusions. I yell. I accuse. But what difference does it make now? Now I believe you.”

  He leaned back from their embrace, looking into her eyes, so clearly seeking understanding. “It’s just proof that you don’t know who I really am at all, Nina, and there won’t be a chance to get to know me much more before…look, it’s not like I’m asking you to loan me a couple hundred bucks you may never see again—I’d be asking you to spend eternity with me, and I won’t let you sacrifice that for me.” The set of his mouth, a grim line, was resolute.

  It didn’t have to be like this. It didn’t. Maybe it was crazy of her to think it didn’t, but it wasn’t like she was marrying him so he could get some damned green card. This was his life. Life. And that led her to believe the idea of being mated to her for life was too horrible for him to consider. “You know, I’m beginning to think it isn’t just Lisanne you’d rather die than mate with—maybe it’s me, too.” Wow, where the fuck had that insecurity come from? And she’d said it out loud—it’d just slipped out. Christ, she’d like to slink into a hole and never come out.

  “Nin—”

  She put her hand up with a flash of her palm. Embarrassment and utter humiliation made her react in the fashion that was like a warm, comfy blanket. “I get it. No need to explain. You’d rather die—die, you fucktard—than mate with me. Candy coat it however you like with all this self-sacrifice bullshit on my behalf, but I see it clearly now. I’m a big mouth, opinionated, and rude. Spending eternity with me’d be like your own little Hell on Earth. So, okay. I get it, and this is where I say buh-bye.” She didn’t give him the chance to say anything more. Her throat was clogged, and her eyes burned, but when she walked away from him, seeing him for what might be the last time, she did it with her head held high and her dignity in tact.

  God love her dignity.

  “WHERE have you been?” Wanda sniped around the chain lock on Nina’s door, her eyes filled with concern and ire.

  Nina popped the lock with a limp hand and traipsed back over to the couch where she’d been for the past day and a half with only a break in between to see Lou. Hiking up her pajama bottoms, she curled a pillow into her chest and sat down.

  Wanda stalked in behind her, yanking the pillow from Nina’s grasp and glaring at her with eyes that weren’t so softly blue tonight. “You look like crap.”

  “Yeah? Well, thanks, and just for that, I hope they cancel Oprah.”

  Wanda’s eyes widened when she gasped. “That was mean, Nina. Very mean. What is going on with you? You don’t answer your phone, and I’ve only called twenty times in the past four days since you called about Lou. Last I knew you were looking for Greg’s sire and having wild otherworldly sex. Now I find you here on the couch like some bum with your messy hair in a ponytail and pajamas that I’d wholeheartedly suggest you burn.” She stooped to the coffee table, picking up an empty bag. “And what is this? What are all these bags?” She held them up and examined them closer, wrinkling her nose.

  Nina grimaced. So she’d thrown back a few plasmas in a fit of pity? Okay, a ton of plasmas in the night dweller’s equivalent of Death by Chocolate Häagen-Dazs, since she’d last seen Greg. “It’s blood,” Nina answered with disinterest.

  Wanda shook a bag in her face, wrinkling her nose. “I see that. Tell me, is this the equivalent of a vampire pity party?”

  Nina shrugged her shoulders and yawned. “Well, I may as well get used to it,’cause I ain’t goin’ back.”

  Wanda’s face immediately changed from irritated to sympathetic. “Oooooh, honey! How could you have found out you’re going to be a vampire forever and not have told us? When did you find this out?”

  “When I found Lisanne, or rather she found me.” Nina yanked the pillow out of Wanda’s hands and put it back under her arms, hugging it to her.

  “Omigod! You found her? What’s she like?”

  “She’s a horrible bitch, and don’t go lecturing me on not giving people a chance until you hear the full story.”

  “Okay, so I’m all ears. Move over and take your filth with you. Oh, and Marty’ll be here in just a few. We decided an intervention was in order.” Wanda shoved aside the litter of empty blood packets and sat down beside her.

  Good. Just what she needed. Marty and her Rebecca-from-Sunnybrook-Farm-with-color-wheels approach to life. Where to begin? “So Lisanne showed up at Greg’s.”

  “Are you two still—involved?”

  Wanda meant sexually, because she whispered the word like her mother might hear it. “We were, are…were. Never mind, forget that. Lisanne showed up and informed me that there really is no turning me back. My mortality is shot—gone—kaput. I’ll never eat another chicken wing again.”

  “Greg did try to tell you.”

  Nina rolled her eyes in exasperation. “I know, Wanda. And he was right. So I’m a vampire for good.” And that was that. No more chicken wings. No more Starbucks White Chocolate Mochas, no more of Lou’s pot roast. Just no more.

  “Wow. Well, that explains your depression, but you do know that wallowing is only allowed for like three days, and then you have to be done. It’s a girl rule or something. I can give you an extra day because this is way bigger than a guy dumping you, but I think four’s the limit.” She chuckled.


  “It isn’t just that, Wanda. There’s more.”

  The doorbell rang, and Wanda patted her knee reassuringly. “That’s Marty. I’ll grab it, you carry on. Wallowing, that is.”

  Wanda sashayed over to the front door, pulling up the pants of her mint green sweat suit, one she’d bought when she’d forced Nina to go to the designer outlet malls with her only three months ago. And already, it looked too loose. Wanda was pale and looked so tired all the time, and now her clothes were sliding off her ass. It worried Nina.

  But she lost her train of thought when she heard Marty’s voice.

  Nina sank farther into the couch, waiting for Marty to fly in, in a blaze of perfume and perfectly color-coordinated clothing. God, she just wanted everyone to go away and let her be.

  Wanda hugged Marty, then pulled her aside to whisper in her ear.

  “I can hear you, Wanda.” Nina pointed to her ears. “Or have you forgotten? Supersonic hearing.”

  Wanda made a face at her. “Sorry, I was just telling Marty—”

  “She was just telling me you’re still whining. Get up, Nina,” Marty demanded, planting her hands on her winter-white jacket-clad hips. “If I can take being a werewolf, you can take being a vampire. Knock off the pussy bullshit and get off that couch.” Marty jabbed a finger under Nina’s nose.

  A flash of anger, the old Nina’s bread and butter, stung her into action. She slid to the edge of the sofa. “Don’t you wave that perfectly manicured finger under my nose, Marty Flaherty, because I will kick your ass from here to kingdom come.”

  Marty and Wanda smiled at each other and nodded. Marty stuck her tongue out at Nina. “There’s the Nina we know and abhor. Now get up.”

  “I don’t want to get up. I’m happy here. I have everything I need.” Blood, blood, and more blood and late night TV. Who knew they had a channel devoted just to reality television?

  Marty unraveled her deep blue scarf from around her neck and hung it on the rack by the door. Her coat soon followed. She smoothed her blonde hair back into its chic ponytail and straightened the edges of her eggshell colored sweater. “Where’s Greg these days? The last thing Wanda told me you two were boinking.”